Guy declared himself my boyfriend. Not sure I like that he just decided that for the both of us. Unhealthy if he's calling all the shots?

I've been on probably 12+ dates with this guy, and it's been about a month. We stopped seeing other people early; he wasn't comfortable with it once he realized other guys actually were asking me out. He makes all the plans, so we do stuff he likes mostly. He initiates sex 95% of the time so far. He gets annoyed if I am talking to him but he wants to have sex. Even if he hasn't initiated anything, he'll snap at me that I'm ruining the mood or that talking is for after the sex. He asks me personal questions but then cuts me off to initiate sex. I'm not in the mood, but he declares it's the mood! Last weekend, he started referring to himself as my boyfriend. Then he finally updated his Facebook to reflect it.

But... suddenly I feel really trapped. He didn't talk to me about what I thought of this relationship or whether or not I was ready to commit to it and have it be public for all my friends. So, is he showing early signs of being controlling, or am I stressing because I've had an abusive boyfriend in the past i. e. now overreacting to this one?


Most Helpful Girl

  • Alright look after 12 dates, one month, only seeing one other person, and sex... You are dating. Period. That's what it is. So he's not in the wrong of considering you two together or himself your boyfriend. There is however a problem. He shouldn't be pushing you around ad using sex against you the way he is. AT ALL. And you shouldn't be letting him. It's abusive. And it's wrong. Sex should be loving and supporting and something you share with the person you love most... Not a chore, torture, task, or master. So if I were you I'd talk to him and if he keeps it up, I'd leave.

    • Yeah... What will one talk hurt if he'll listen for once? You're right. I have such a problem with putting up with mistreatment; I just can't seem to stick up for myself in the moment anymore.

    • Show All
    • Tx much

    • Thanks for mho!!!

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