I'm 26 years old. I've never had a girlfriend, I'm a virgin, I've never been kissed nor have I ever touched a woman before. I'm a fall-filled freak. But at the same time I'd love to have a girlfriend.
Apart from work, I rarely leave the house. If I went to a party or a bar/club, I wouldn't talk to people I didn't know and I would want to leave 5 minutes after I showed up. I feel very uncomfortable in social settings especially with alcohol as I don't drink.
I'm very shy, guarded and reserved. I always have been. I can go days without taking to anybody. To make matters worse I stutter when I get nervous which makes me feel insecure. I've seen speech pathologists about it but things have not improved. . I have attempted to ask girls on dates in the past but I've been rejected that much that I don't see the point in putting myself out there anymore, I have a heard time dealing with rejection and I just don't want to get through it again.
I've been on only one date in my entire life and it was terrible. I tried online dating and organized a date with this girl around my age. We went out to dinner, I got really nervous and uncomfortable and halfway through the night she left me to go dancing with a few friends, telling me I was "too shy" for her.
Anyway, I just wanted to ask, what do you think of a guy like me? Am I a loser? Should I give up? Is there hope? Any advice?
Thanks for listening.
Most Helpful Girl
You're absolutely not a loser, and don't give up. From the sounds of you I wouldn't even bother trying to meet anyone at a party or bar/club because they don't sound like you at all, and usually people want to meet someone with common interests or similarities. What are your interests? I would suggest joining clubs or going to places where people are into the things you're into. Not only will it feel more natural but you'll probably end up with some cool new friends even if nothing turns out in the romantic side of things. I believe there is someone out there for everyone, you just haven't found her yet. She will come :)0
Most Helpful Guy
Yes you are a loser. Put yourself in the persons shoes that goes out on a date with you. If your acting the way you described it does not sound like a lot of fun, sorry. Yet it is not a big deal because the next person you meet has no idea of your past blunders, so it's a fresh start.
Quit wasting time with therapy kick yourself in the ass every time you think you need it. Since you don't do anything outside of work look for something like a cheap salsa dancing or ballroom dancing school. There you will be provided a partner where you can practice your social skills while learning how to dance which will also build your confidence plus provide a new outlet to be social in. Most cities have cheap salsa dancing schools that teach large groups do not get into one that is 1 to 1 that defeats the purpose. I suggest salsa because the dancers are rarely judge mental they rarely turn down a dance even from bad dancers and I doubt you have hobbies that woman take part in since you rarely leave the house. The better you get at dancing the more girls will want to dance with you and they will begin to approach you. It is also a good form of exercise which will release endorphins that will make you feel better about yourself. There is always hope if you are willing to put in the work.0