Why is it so hard to get a girlfriend?

Why is it so hard to get one? I really don't know why. Im not unattractive. Im a little taller then average, dont look super lanky and thin. And have a little muscle on me. Every one has the things they dont like about themselves (doesnt mean im gonna share them with you). But I dont think im a total turn off. I play sports, have good personal hygiene, and dont disconnect myself from society (aka, dont live under a rock). But there is just something that doesn't allow me to get a girlfreind, and I just dont know what it is. I dont know if its the people i talk to and hang with at school. Or if its just the way i do things. Im not insecure about how i look, im pretty masculin. Im a normal guy that just can't seem to find a girlfriend. And ya i know they dont just line up for you. And that i actually have to look for one. But i dont really have any better way then to just talk to one. Which i can't really do cause i dont hang out with any. Its hard for me to just become friends with a girl since they are already part of a group of people who are just different then me. And the last time I actually tried to have a gfriend that was a girl (in that specific order), she basically didn't have a clue on what dating is and what having a relationship was like. Beacause her personal goals were school and no time for dating (which is what she assumed i was asking). So I dont know what my problem is, but if you could please share your opinions or personal experiences on this, please do!


Most Helpful Girl

  • I noticed that you go on about your appearances. But females don't only date people for their appearances. How you act around them also affects it. People you hang out with, things you do, who you're trying to go after. It all comes into play. Yes, personal appearances and health are important, but they're not the only things people care about. And a lot of things have to line up in order to get a relationship. Like if she's looking for a relationship, if she's into you, if it's the right timing, and so much more.

    My ex girlfriend and I, it took two years before we got together. Mainly because it was the wrong time, when one was in a relationship, the other was single, when we were both single, we both had our lives to finish sorting out, and so much more. But we dated after that. Lasted a while too. So it really depends on a lot of things.

    • Im not shy, i talk to girls like any normal person would (don't treat them like a girl). My friends aren't completely weird and different either. I play sports, im not always doing things that would make girls think negatively of me. And I don't go after anybody. A girl would actually have to know me to know what i do on weekends. Which is play games and watch hockey. I would like to be hanging out with friends and be doing normal teenage stuff. But i don't, cause i don't have those kind of friends.

    • Show All
    • To me, normal is spending most of my days getting home from school and playing video games. What i want my normal to be is leaving my house to go hang out with my friends (may include girls to). Ya it doesn't have to be a date or anything, it could be casual. But i feel like i have to get to know them first. And for me getting to know them some more is social media. Which includes Instagram and Snapchat. Its also hard trying to be someones friend if they assume that your just trying to get into there pants or something. And i don't try to come off that way, im just looking for more friends that i can hang out with after school so that i can make it easier to find a girl that i might possibly date. For some girls i feel like its just weird for some random dude to come up to them and say "Hey, wanna hang out?" no, i feel like you have to talk to them and connect with them on social media to really see who they are. My point is, its hard to become friends with some girl randomly.

    • That was a rhetorical question. But you can just go up to them and start talking to them in a public setting, talk to them a few times and then ask them to hang out. If you go to school, sports, work. Any place that is public.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Furrkk girls

    • xD. thats one way of looking at it. Which is what i think a lot actually, like if i had a girlfriend i would be super pro-having them, but when i dont its just like, if it happens then great!

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What Girls Said 2

  • See that's the bonus of being a girl... it's so easy to get a boyfriend, there's guys always ready to date you, I'd say try keep an eye out for girls you may have overlooked... or go to places you might get them on their own since I know guys don't want to approach groups of us... try coffee shops... Starbucks is recommended, libraries etc.

    • Haha, you guys are so lucky. I've only known one girl that actually came up to me and wanted to be friends right away. We ended up being good friends, but ended up drifting apart. I don't know, i don't think I've overlooked any girls. Usually girls at my school either want to be left alone or beside there friends all the time. Dont really know a girl that is independant and is friends with lots of different people. Most girls in my school are either not dating for school, or are dating cause they don't care about school. I've only really talked to a few girls throughout high school that seemed really cool and i would want to hang out with. But i never really got to know them.

  • You might not be ready for a girlfriend. Being attractive does not mean you will most definitely have a relationship - because there are many attractive people who are single. It takes time, effort, commitment and life experience to find somebody.


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