To all the shy guys, is he shy or just not interested, should I move on?

To all the shy guys, is he shy or just not interested, should I move on?

The guy I'm dating made all the inital moves, asked me out, etc, asked for a second date. The plans we've made since all seem to have fallen through. He says he's really into me, etc but his actions don't match. Generally, I don;t have time for this type of thing. A guy is either interested or he isn't and I'd have moved on by now if I thought someone was mucking me about. Problem is, sometimes he says things like he can't believe I actually said yes to going out with him. I've asked him if he's still interested, and he said he was but he thought I wasn't. We talk a lot but we haven't gone out much. I do wonder if his flakey behaviour is him not wanting to push too much becuase he's shy. Then I just think he's flakey coz he's just not that into me, so I don't want to be too direct. (we work together so I don;t want things to be awkward if he's trying to let things fizzle out). I'm at a cross-roads with this guy... should I judge him by his actions and move on, or should I give him a chance? I've had enough of trying to figure him out now. I don't want to be too direct if he's not interested and then embarass him (and me) but I am also getting so close to just forgetting him and moving on. I don't want to be harsh if he's just shy, but maybe I should take a hint?


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What Guys Said 1

  • I think it's very caring of you to be considering how he feels about you before deciding if you're moving on or not. BUT...

    If he's flakey then he's flaky. It doesn't MATTER why he's flaky. That's kinda how I see it.

    His behaviour is really the problem... so why not just sit him down and quiz him directly. Force him to either open up about his insecurities so that you can draw a line in the sand that says, "HEY! Stop being flaky because I hate it and am about to move on. If you're just insecure about me just say so and we can deal with it. But if you're just flaky because your a lazy ass I need to know right now."


    Being direct is healthy, especially if you're willing to hear what he's got to say, as opposed to just walking away angry.

    ~ Robby

    • Thank you, Brilliant advice :-) I'm willing to give him a chance, but I'm not going to start making excuses for him either :-)

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