Is it wrong to be friends with someone you dated if you're in a relationship?

I've been seeing my boyfriend for about six weeks now. We're exclusive.

The other day at work I saw that a man I went on a date with might be doing some work for my company as a contractor. We're getting some software from his company, and he's one of the guys who handles installation. Anyway, I reached out to him just to say that it's a small world and I'd been reminded of him.

I told him I have a boyfriend now, but I also said I'm interested in being friends because he's interesting. I know from the one date we had that we aren't going to connect romantically. Am I doing anything wrong here?

I don't think I am, but I thought I might open it up to public opinion, since it is unusual.
The guy who is a potential friend responded to me having a boyfriend by saying he's happy for me and that he appreciates me being clear and up front with him. Wants to be just friends and started chatting about work stuff.


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think so, perhaps you should just inform the guy you're currently dating to ensure you don't end up looking shady or anything!

    • Indeed. I will talk to him about it. I'm never hiding anything. How would I manage to conceal a friendship anyway?

    • i don't. People can hide billions of dollars, others can hide the fact they've been dating another person for years, and others can hide the fact they have a child with another person. So yeah, I think you could manage to hide something as insignificant as a friendship

    • Those people are far more cunning than I am. I don't think I could hide a needle in a haystack. Naturally bad at lying and about as sneaky as an elephant, haha.

Most Helpful Girl

  • How would you feel if your boyfriend did the same thing?

    That's your answer

    • I would be okay with it. I very much trust my boyfriend and his dedication to our relationship. If I felt I couldn't trust him to stay just friends with someone, then I would stop dating him.

    • Show All
    • I think you're right. I'm supposed to see him this evening, and I will bring it up to him then.

    • Sounds like you have an honest relationship so I'm sure he will know that you never meant anything bad by it, good luck!

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • No its not wrong. It's an individual type of thing. If your both OK with it then there's no issue. But most of the times there will be insecurities that surface by default from the fact you guys once had feelings and those feeling could be rekindled, even if you think they won't

    • Well, I met my boyfriend through online dating and the same with this guy. A single date, and there just wasn't that sort of chemistry. Hopefully that helps with the insecurity. I had chemistry with my boyfriend right away!

  • this cannot end well just keep this man at arms leghnt distance at all times

    • Fair enough. I'm more than happy to keep a safe distance. I suspect we will just chat via text sometimes and not hang out in person. If we do, it will be a group and include my boyfriend.

What Girls Said 1

  • it's weird and a bit inappropriate. you went on one date and it didn't work out. what reason do you have to be buddies now? be friendly, but not friends.

    • I just find him interesting in conversation. He's a different person from myself with different experiences. I like to hear his stories. It's nothing more complex than that.

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