Letter to my ex. Anything I should leave out?

"we broke up over a month ago (communication), it was the second time. first time it happened she called me wanting to get back together but I didn't change anything. A few months pass and we broke up again, only this time I wanted to get back together. its like we reversed rolls in the situation but when I went to talk to her after a week she didn't budge. I've been in NC for one month."

I wanted to thank you for the short time we spent together. After our last talk I didn’t get what I initially wanted, but I got just what I needed. You shined light on a side of me i’ve kep tin the dark for years, and that is more than any friend or lover has done for me in the past. These few months i’ve learned more about myself and what I want than since I moved to RIchmond, and I can’t help but think of you through it all.
No apology could express how sorry I am than I was never honest about my feelings or that I shared what it is I wanted, because I do believe we were looking for the same things. Not a day has gone by where I don’t recite all of the words I should have said, and its the price I pay for keeping quiet for so long. I took our time together for granted. My mind was elsewhere and I hope you understand why. In the end they were all excuses.
It took you turning around for me to realise all of this. I know i’m not the only one, but I feel sometimes we need to endure rejection to more deeply understand what it is we feel for someone.
I wonder how you felt the first time this happened. I wonder if you thought our reconciliation would be met with that spark bursting into a flame as I do now. I knew what I had to do, but I stalled. Instead I went and bought a ring. I went and returned it the next day for one twice as grandiose because I felt it didn’t say enough. I didn’t know at the time that no diamond could replace the words I wanted to share with you. Shortly after you asked what the purpose of it was and I said a promise ring, but never to what I was promising...
I thought I had felt this was twice in my life but in the end I was wrong. It has been awhile, but I told myself the next time this feeling came across me I may not recognize it, and I was right. What I feel for you is clear to me, not because i’ve felt this way before, but simply because I never have. I know what it is I want now, and as much fun as we had together, it’s nothing like what we experienced. Its not starting where we left off. What we had isn’t worth repeating but i’m more than w
willing to argue that what we could have is worth pursuing. There was at least two times in our short relationship you noticed something more in me, and I am confident if we took a simple walk together I could show you that person and finally introduce myself.
I always thought that the third time would be a charm. before we ever took that first walk together, and now with us.


Most Helpful Girl

  • the whole thing. that will just make you look bad and desperate. just let her go and you go let urself be happy and move on. unless you need to write it for closure... then just write it and burn it.

    • I really feel in my heart it could be better than before. I had a lot going on over the summer loosing my job and apartment. My heart wasn't in the right place.

    • Show All
    • It depends on her, really... What type of person she is and how hurt she is

    • she is very mature and knows what she wants. she wasn't afraid early on to gauge if I wanted children in the near future. And her decision wasn't impulsive, so I think she was moving on a few weeks before we actually split. It was mutual at the time, but she left me with some words that made me really want to make a positive change for myself and showed me what went wrong. In my heart I know how to provide what was missing, I just dont know if my words can convince her.

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 2

  • You're a great writer.

    I know people are always self-conscious about sending things like this to their ex, but with all this honesty - laid out really succinctly - I think it's worth for her to read. Don't necessarily expect anything to come from it. Your letter should be about honesty, love, not persuasion. You gave it your all, and you cannot fault yourself for that. Good luck!

  • There is nothing you should leave out. All of it is perfect.


What Guys Said 2

  • That's so lovely. But why do you feel the need to write to your ex? Or is he not quite your ex yet?

    • Because I want her back and I feel like I know what I got to do now.

    • My suggestion would be to tell her that face to face, not write it.

  • Dude its time. Drop the letter and move on. I know it sounds counter-intuitive from your current perspective but you know it's the right thing to do.

    • I feel like I have to do it. I really am confident I know what to do. Sure I am intimidated by the rejection but I never tried hard enough. Is this a route you've taken before? im genuinely interested in what you are saying.

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