I can't choose, which guy is right for me?

It might be a long read but I need advice.

So I met this guy over a year ago, when we first met I thought he was perfect. Everything I ever wanted, looks wise and personality. But he had to leave for school, and we had only two weeks to get to know each other before he left. We stayed in touch but he became very flakey and I didn't see him for months on end, even when he was back in town. But I always came running when he called because I felt like he was too good to let go.

Flash forward, we saw each other a couple times this last summer and I felt kind of over it. I realized he wasn't going to change and I stopped trying which apparently made him try, because ever since I stopped, he's the one who always initiates and asks to see me whenever he's back in town. A week ago from last night I met a guy at a party, we kissed and had a lot of fun and now we've hung out multiple times since then and we've met each other's friends and he's exactly my type. This is where it gets complicated. The first guy I talked about was in town this weekend and asked me to come over last night when I was with the second guy, I obviously said no but I did meet up with him today.

This first guy, never tried to kiss me. He's shy and I was always kind of frustrated because I'm shy as well and didn't want to be the one to initiate. So when I agreed to see him today I felt it would be completely innocent as we never even hold hands or do anything remotely romantic. But of course today was the day he grew some balls and kissed me.

So now I'm so confused. The first guy is everything I ever wanted (at first) but he lives far away, he's too shy when it comes to making a move, but for some reason I can't bare to think about never talking to him again.

The second guy, I'm attracted to and I get along with, and he isn't afraid to kiss me, and hold me and be lovey dovey, after only a week of knowing me, which is nice but I also don't know his true intentions. However, my friends who saw us together think that he truly is into me, but who can really be sure. But he lives here, and I'd actually be able to see him and not always wonder what he's doing.

I feel like I can't let go of the first guy, but I also know deep down that it will never work. Any advice?


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  • If there isn't one clear person whom you like above all others, don't choose either. Both deserve someone who wants just them, and you shouldn't date one person, whilst suppressing feelings for another.

    • I agree. It's just that my whole life I've been told I'm the pretty friend who all the guys want yet I've never been in a serious relationship while I watched all my friends date and be in love. It really affected my self esteem for a while. And now I just can't imagine going back to that place where I feel like no guys are interested in me. But you're right they deserve someone who would put them first. At least, the second guy does.

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