Do relationships begin to lose passion as the years go on?

For instance.. I've been with my boyfriend for going on five years now. In the beginning there was so much passion and desire and intimacy. Now though... we barely even kiss. Its not even just with sex. I will get to that in a moment. But we just don't kiss each other anymore? We cuddle when we are in bed but that's about it.

Sexual wise.. its getting boring. When we first got together we fucked like rabbits. Constantly all over each other. That's how it was for the first year. After that it started to slowly drift away. Now, if we have sex, its right before bed and we are both exhausted and its the same position. Lasting the same amount of time as the last sexual encounter we had and its not all that often. Maybe once a month. There is no kissing during or after the sex. No dirty talk. No nothing. Just him finding release and then falling asleep.
I crave the intimacy we once had. But when talking to people they say that this is normal. Stating that as the years pass there becomes a lack of sexual interest and a lack of emotional connection. It starts becoming more of a comfortability thing. Is this true? Is there anyway to spark things up to our beginning stages of our relationship?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Thats why I always say "its easy to get into a relationship, its a lot harder to MAINTAIN the relationship". Things start to deteriorate from the moment you meet. It deteriorates faster if its always one person with the task of initiating, doing, and spicing things up/being creative. You sound like you want HIM to do something... you could find a new thing... lingerie and rope seem to work well...

    • I have been the one initiating everything new. So yes, I want him to step up.

    • Sadly, that is one thing that you can't control. You can talk to him about it, about how things are fading... and by the way...5 years? might as well be married... its already beginning to feel like it.

Most Helpful Girl

  • it's true later in the years iit'll just be more about comfortability instead of having sex and sparks flying, if u rlly want the way it was in the beginning ur going to have to tell him or better yet why ddon't u try being the boss and spice it up a bit by telling him what you want


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What Guys Said 1

  • It's not universal, but it happens a -lot-.

    Basically, there's a high chance that at least one person loses interest in sex. So some relationships they're both drifting along like that, but a lot of them, one party is losing their mind.

    There are things you can try, but it's hard, really he's the one who needs to be putting in the effort, but like most situations, the low drive partner doesn't care.


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