Two years ago I had to move from NC to Cali because my mom got a new job. My ex and I stayed together for a while but we started having problems a few months in so I decided to end things because I wasn't coming back any time soon and knew that with the distance these problems would persist (he was worried about me cheating which I never did). I cut him off from all contact until a month later he sent me a beautiful letter and we started to be friends. I started dating another guy and he started dating another girl and he eventually joined the Army and was deployed so we didn't talk for about a year except a letter here and there.
I met a guy six months ago and we have been dating since. I moved back to NC to go to school and he stayed in Cali for school. I saw my ex again a few days ago. He's good friends with my brother who's also in the Army and was there with some of their other friends when I showed up to surprise my brother. He looked so different, very muscular with lots of tattoo's on his arms. We all started drinking and my ex and I started talking about our relationship. He admitted he was being paranoid and missed me a lot after we broke up and when he was deployed. I told him I should've been better at putting his mind at ease instead of just breaking things off. We talked for hours and I'm ashamed to admit we kissed. I feel so guilty and will tell my boyfriend eventually but right now I'm so confused.
Basically my ex is an hour or so away from me. My current boyfriend is all the way across the country and visiting him will be extremely difficult. I'd feel like such a bitch if I just keep breaking up with guys because they aren't around enough, but then again this could be the shot me and my ex never really had before. I'm so confused, I don't want to hurt my boyfriend but all those feelings for my ex came back when I saw him.
Most Helpful Guy
you probably shouldn't be in a relationship until you actually figure out shit in your life in my honest opinion. but from a practicality standpoint, i'll map this out for you cause i'm bored:
you have 5 options here
1- you stay with your current boyfriend. i'm guessing you're a sophomore of junior right now. meaning you have 1.5-2.5 years left being in nc. after that, you'll in all likelihood, be moving back to california.
2- you stay with him and somehow get a job in nc or neighboring state
3- you break up with the dude, get back with your ex. again, chances are, you're gonna be moving back to california after graduation. and you'll be spending 3+ months apart from him during the summer at least
4- you break up with boyfriend and get with your ex. somehow you get a job in nc or some neighboring state
5- you get with your ex and I don't know the situation, but he gets stationed or deployed somewhere else. i'm guessing the dude is in ft bragg, but it's a massive hub.
so, 1 and 3 are short term solutions to long term problems. 2 and 4 are long term solutions with short term problems. 5 is dependent and factor into all of those in some way. I don't know how much weight it has, though.
the biggest question you need to ask yourself is do you actually think you can commit to either of the 2 in any of the circumstances and something you can only answer, not us. can you deal with summers not being with your ex or can you deal with being apart for 7+ months without your current boyfriend? i've seen this story before with my old roommate who is from california and his girlfriend who's from dc. i mean he didn't have an ex waiting for him or vice versa, but you get the idea. i won't tell you how it ended, though...
by the way, where in nc are you from and where do you go to school? i went to college in the triad area, but i graduated and moved back home up north.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Girl
The fact that you are asking this tells what kind of a person you are, and therein lies your answer.
If you are even questioning leaving your boyfriend - do it.
He deserves better than someone flaky who goes back and forth between being with him and your ex.0THIS IS NOT RELEVANT ANYMORE
- Show AllShow Less