What went wrong? Should I do anything now?

Adam has been a friend for 8 years. I Have found myself attracted to to Adam for the past 2 months but I didn't want anything to be weird, so I buried it

I had been dating a guy - Shawn for over 2 years. Our relationship has been coming to an end for the past few months. It's just not working

Adam knows all of what is going on. 3 weeks ago, after hanging out & having too much to drink, Adam told me he has felt a flicker of an attraction for me & thinks there's potential. He kissed me & we discussed how I felt & then we discussed how my current relationship is ending

Since our conversation, Adam & I have spent time together. He told me he liked me & wanted to take it slow. He told me he thought I was pretty & that he loved my company. He told me didn't want to confuse our situation but his feelings were in the beginning stages of what he called potentially something strong. I agreed with all he said & felt. Then I oficially broke it off with Shawn. I told Adam that Shawn & I were done. I knew we wouldn't date right away but I wanted him to know what was going on

He had told me that he doesn't think it is a good idea for us to consider dating until there is more distance from my breakup. He said he is skeptical about genuine feelings since we have been in a vulnerable place & because we have known each other for so long & is apprehensive about believing our feelings could be real because why wouldn't they have developed a long time ago? He said we both need to take time to reflect on what we want & he apologized if he said things that made me feel like his "little flame" was stronger than it is

He he told me I deserve someone great because he thinks I am & if it is him he will be fortunate & lucky. He hugged me & told me that he loves being close to me & when he pulled back he stared at me & told me I know how to get his small flame to grow because I am beautiful & he said he had to leave so not to be hypocritical because he wanted to kiss me again. What happened?


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What Guys Said 2

  • It could be that he is concerned that if you two try the relationship and it doesn't work out , then he has also lost a good friend.

  • Well, I think he does like you, but since your friendship has been going on for so long he is really afraid of ruining that should a romantic relationship not work out. It is easier and less risky to admit feelings when you are still in another relationship since you aren't available. Now that you are available the situation has become much more real to him and he may be getting cold feet. It can be really hard to switch gears from friends to lovers and this process may take some time and patience. Take it one step at a time, take it slow.


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