Is She Stringing Me Along?

I have seen this girl a few times now and for some reason I just don't understand her behavior at all. Her texting habits seem a bit strange and she never answers texts right away, but her responses are usually longer and more thoughtfully written. In 'real-life' she seems really open to me and we get along really well, etc. Anyway, she just sent me a message saying that she couldn't meet this week because she has a bad cold and that she would let me know when she was better, and ended the message saying she wanted to meet again.

She has done this before and her excuse the previous time seemed legitimate and she actually did message me later giving an alternate time.

Anyway, I really like her but she's stressing me out with this aloof behavior and I don't really know how to interpret it or if I should move on. Should I make sure that she's actually interested, move on, or just go with what she says? I don't want to feel like an idiot later...

Thanks :)


Most Helpful Girl

  • Um that's a hard one but some people have a fear of intimacy nothing sexual a fear of being rejected maybe even loved I'd. Give her a chance and if things are still going the same direction I'd move on. Good luck!


Most Helpful Guy

  • If you've only seen her a few times you can't expect to be the most important thing in her life. It's possible there's another guy she's talking to. That doesn't make her untrustworthy or anything, it's just a reality of dating in the early stages that's hard to come to grips with but it is what it is.

    But even if there isn't another player in the game, she could legitimately be busy. I had that experience a few years ago, thinking I was being consistently blown off. It took a month to see the girl again but I did see her. I also started seeing a girl who was acting aloof after our first few days right after I graduated college. We had a big blow up about it and she contacted me two months later. We were together for four years after that.

    I don't see any reason why you should be stressed. I don't think she's stringing you along, you just have to be patient and understand the possibility that she's busy and it will be difficult at first to make plans with her, until she feels like she wants to get more serious with you.

    • To be clear, I do think she likes you. Just has a lot of stuff going on. The holidays are a busy time for everyone.

    • This is such a great answer thank you! I feel like in the past I've 'confronted' girls about them being aloof like this and that always ended badly. There's a lot of advice on the Internet about 'nexting' girls or not being a pushover and taking behavior like this, but I've always thought that that was a bit ridiculous because it makes logical sense in the early stages for a relationship for either person not to overly invest themselves. Anyway, I'll think about it thanks!

    • Yeah you're running a huge risk if you confront a girl like that. I know, I've done it many many times. There are times when it's appropriate and when it works, but it's never going to work until she has a much better idea of you and knows she wants you around, and it depends how you do it.

      If it keeps up like this into mid/late January (you HAVE to wait until after the holidays), what I would do is just kind of back off. Don't reach out first, don't respond to her texts with the same enthusiasm, don't ask her to hang out. She'll notice, and if her interest continues to grow, then by that point she'll need to know you're still interested. It will make her more interested. If she asks why you've backed off, you can be a little aloof and say you've been busy, and maybe throw in a casual comment about how she's seemed too busy to be able to talk or hang out. Don't say it with spite or snark though, and if you can manage that, it will make her see the error of her ways.

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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 1

  • First of all how she's responding to you isn't bad. Some people don't send back one word text and don't send text quickly as within a minute you sent them. That's just how some people are. Some people send long text. It's fine. Doesn't mean she doesn't still like you.

    As far as the sickness thing hey she may be sick may not be sick.


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