What does it mean when a girl doesn't give you a yes or no?

Like the question says, she'll give indefinite answers, even though she's inviting me studf and I am inviting her to stuff, it always ends up being maybes or I don't know when the time comes.

How do you deal with it? Do you just drop her or what?
I should add she's saying yes at points but then it goes to maybes or I don't knows.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Being indifferent and not being able to commit by saying "yes" or "no" is a big red flag for guys and girls. It means they want to likely keep their options open and have no problem putting you on the side and not giving you peace of mind. It's a very selfish outlook and in all honesty I wouldn't deal with this at all. I'd drop her.

    • I agree. What I don't get is: she asked me and chased me up about this event, insisted we go, insisted it would just be used, told me I can let her know my availability any time, then when I committed she still asked if I know for sure that I can go and continued to ask about it and asked if I had already bought my tickets, then gives me a non-committal answer.

      Why repeatedly ask or care if she doesn't know if she can go?

    • She's just playing with you. Or it's a typical cause of chasing someone and when they are actually yours you push them away.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Just make the decision for her and make the plans and dont give her a question. So say u r organizing a date u say 'ok well im thinking i wanna take u out sometime. Ill meet u 7pm Tuesday at the so and so restaurant. Ill see u then.' At this point she has to make a decision bc u have technically already locked a time in and she has to make her mind up. If u give her an open question she will more likely give u those maybes. Just organize everything for her it will go a lot more smoothly and she will actually go along with what u say bc its easy on her and she doesn't have to think. If she says no then suggest another time until u find something suitable. If she keeps umming and arring then u know she is probably avoiding bc no-one can possibly be that busy. Say everyday of the week if u have to.


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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • It usually means she's indecisive. I like to know where I stand with people. So if they can't make a decision of whether they want to be in my life or not.. ... then I make the decision for them by walking away.

  • Maybe she wants to say no, but she is one of those people that can't say no :)

    Or she wanna say yes but she is shy.

    • Well SHE invited me to this event and insisted we would go just us, and then when I tried to finalize it she kept asking if I'll be there even though she might have to work the next day and repeatedly kept checking if I had my ticket and would for sure be there then saying that she doesn't think she can go

    • Show All
    • Are you shy? @Complicated-Soul 🙈

  • based on other opinions and your comments, she sounds very indecisive, kind of makes me think she gives you those I don't knows to keep her options open if something she wants to do better comes her way. honestly I'd ask her point blank what she wants if it's I don't know or she hesitates then your answer is clear. walk away

    • Even though she's the one inviting me at times? I mean she did this last time when I invited her and she never gave me a response till the day off asking me what I am doing that night

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    • Well this time I just told her I am going to event if she joins fine but I am not basing my time around maybes and left it at that. She hit me up a couple of times asking if I got my tickets already and will I be there for sure etc then just gave me more maybes as in she doesn't know if she can go but never actually says yes or no

    • yea I'd move on.

What Guys Said 2

  • Well, she isn't that interested that is for sure. But she is inviting you to places, so yay?

    • She repeatedly does or messages me asking me what I am doing that night and gets upset when I am hanging out with friends or talking to other girls

    • Oh in that case just drop her because she is a toxic influence

  • Any answer other than a yes should be construed as a no.

    • Even though she suggested the idea?

    • I've been there with one woman. She was so afraid of loosing me as a friend after I told her I had feelings for her that she'd suggest things for us to do together. They never happened. If i brought it up shed acted surprised or make an excuse to why she couldn't. It was her way of trying to manipulate me into staying around by giving me the illusion that she was interested. If you ask and don't receive a yes, then it's a no. It she suggests but never follows through, it's a no.

    • Well she's already admitted feelings for me and told me she loves me. And reminded me of this last date multiple times and flirted about it, then a few days before when I try to confirm with her she's throwing me I don't knows

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