What is this guy's deal? I really don't understand him at all & I need honest-to-God insight?

I've posted before but added something new to the situation. I've like ls this guy at my college who I introduced myself to a month ago. We have hung out 2 times, both of which he initiated (coffee and in our dorm) just chilling. It was as friends. Even though I can tell he finds me attractive like I do him. In person, he's super personable, I can tell he likes me, and he asks to see me and invites me to hang out. Once he asked me to dinner (though it never happened.. He didn't follow through and ignored my message when I brought it up. Which was weird because he asked me twice). maybe something came up. But it's like he's showing me signs he's interested, but he's not acting on them. Other than in person, for example, he likes my photos and status on Facebook.. I searched and he doesn't like anyone else's photos (yes, fb has that feature where you can tell). I've also had a tinder for a month and I've never seen him on there ever.. But I've seen and talked to guys he's friends with. Then all of a sudden last night I saw him on there and I swiped right. An hour later he swiped right and we were a "match." I'm pretty sure he just got the app.
I was so excited about it. by the way, he's a quiet guy who keeps to himself. I don't think he has had much girl action.

I just saw him now walking, and we exchanged a few words but he didn't act normal.. Like he didn't suggest to hang out like he used to everytime he saw me. He seemed more withdrawn or held back/nervous. He was just like well I'm going to go go to my room... Did I ruin things because we matched on tinder? Like he knows we are into each other? Why doesn't he ask me out? Should I message him something to clear the air? I want to get things rolling if there's something you know?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Don't take it personally. Sometimes peoples' heads just aren't in the right place at the moment. Perhaps he wants a relationship, but thinks there's something preventing him from being the type of SO he thinks you deserve. I know I've been there myself.

    In my case, it would probably have helped a lot had the girl I was with wanted things to be more casual. Maybe for him, too, the knowledge that you know what you're signing up for should you later make things more serious will help smooth the transition. Of course, only go this route if you're okay with it yourself!


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