I just recently (past 4 months) reentered the world of dating after a series of consecutive long term relationships. Basically, this is the first time I have "dated" around and not immediately jumped into a new relationship. The one thing putting me off is how often guys say (on a first date, mind you,) "you are beautiful," or "you are very attractive," or "you have beautiful eyes." I do enjoy the compliments and I appreciate them. But, I'm starting to feel like they are just go-to comments. I don't know whether to feel special or not because I hear them all the time. Dating sucks. It sucks even more when you have been hurt in the past and have a tough time trusting anyone. So, when these guys who are seemingly awesome...(we click, chemistry, great conversation, fun,) start with the compliments or ask why I'd even be interested in them, I run. I feel like they are just buttering me up. They are educated good guys too, Doctor, college football coach, university professor. So I feel like I'm choosing the right guys, just not into all the compliments starting day 1. Is it just the way things are now? (Btw, I'm 30.)
Most Helpful Guy
So let's get this straight. Girls think being called cute is bad because it sounds like she's 10 and not a woman.
Being called ugly or anything of the sort is an insult.
Being called hot or sexy makes y'all feel like a slab of objectified slabs of meat
Now, calling a girl pretty or beautiful is bad because it's disingenuous...
Please, women. What would you like to be called? Like, I somewhat get that it can feel canned, but now some of y'all are just fucking complaining about the dumbest shit. And then, y'all get mad when we DON'T compliment you enough... What the fuck? You can't just get what you want just because it's convenient for you at that moment. I don't want to single you out, but some of y'all really need a reality check. You can't complain about guys not show you respect, go up to you and ask you out, trying. To date you, etc, and then when it happens, get upset because you're getting complimented too much "at the time". The entire point of dating is because you find the other person attractive. Why would the person make it up?
Sorry for the mini rant and it's coming across that I'm artacking you specifically, but this is beyond absurd and ridiculous. Sorry if this comes off as offensive or sexist, but do girls really wonder why guys aren't straight forward or don't understand what y'all are thinking? It's because 9/10 of the time, there is literally no linear logic.13
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Most Helpful Girl
I agree with you. I love compliments, but it's hard to know whether the person is being genuine or not. There are so many people who will say anything to get with you, then when they have you they do a 180 or start seeing other people at the same time as you, even when they claim to be monogamous.
I think the best way to deal with this is just be thankful for the compliments. Thank them, and leave it at that. Pay more attention to how they act and treat you. Look at their actions.
A guy can say you are beautiful, but if he isn't taking you out (and basically hiding you) from people in his life, then something isn't right there. If a guy is saying he really likes you, but won't make it official or take you out on another date. Then I would definitely question that.2