Am I Being Selfish for Thinking this Way During His Time of Need or is this Actually What He Means?

I have been dating a guy on and off for a few years. Recently we got back together and we're trying to make things work. This past week, he's been acting odd. For instance, he told me to spend Christmas and my birthday with my family and the people that care about me the most. He originally told me that he'd come to both. I asked him what was going on, since this is not something he'd normally say to me. He told me that someone had died and that it's caused an introspective result on his life. I gave him my condolences, told him that I cared about him, and I asked him if he needed anything from me. He told me to not worry about him and that I should focus on myself. We also have a date today and he already told me that he might cancel.

I'm not sure how to act towards his behavior, since this is not something that he's exhibited towards me before. I want to be there for him, but I'm getting the impression that he doesn't want to be in a relationship anymore. Am I being selfish for thinking this way?


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  • I don't think you're being selfish, but you also have to understand what he's going through. Sometimes when people grieve they tune out the people that they truly care about and the people that could help them. People deal with it in different ways. I would say to just be there for him, and tell him that you understand what he's going through. As much as it is sucky, you also have to respect him and his actions.


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