I feel like I keep running around in circles with every guy I meet my age... None of them know what they want & it's breaking me down?
It's not "breaking me down" completely... I just keep investing my time and thoughts into these guys and for nothing. I'm 21. I go to a top notch college; I'm smart, I'm beautiful, I have such a big heart, I want to feel that special something with someone.. I never have, and it's starting to feel like I won't for sometime. &I'm so lonely. I don't know why I keep going back for more and keep getting hurt by guys. My problem is that I want them to be something they aren't, or I see them full of so much potential and then they just don't act as I hope. And it's not even their problem. It's mine. It's affecting me; it's upsetting me, not them; it's my problem. Yet, I keep HOPING. I hope and try and put myself out there, and then I just get torn to pieces all over again because they don't know what they want, they don't know how to act, they don't know, they don't know, they don't know how to care for a woman. I'm just so sad. I recently put myself out there for this guy... I tried, we went out a few times (never sex; I don't hookup; I'm the real deal.. It's either you're in or you're OUT) and he just left me high and dry. He gives me mixed signals.. One day he's diggin me, the next he isn't.. And it makes me feel like I'm not good enough. I'm questioning myself.. Maybe I'm boring, not smart, Etc. I haven't spoken to him for like a week.. And I just noticed he became friends with this cute chick on Facebook from our college. And now I feel like why bother with him anymore. If he's seeing other women, I must not be important at all. I hate this. I want to love so badly.. and I can't. I want company so badly.. And I can't have it.
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