A couple should rely on each other. So i pay this for both, he pay that for both, i pay when he doesn't have much money and he does either.
We both pay but we dont count, dont care much about who pay more or less.
- No, its normal
- Yes it is
Most Helpful Guy
"We both pay but we dont count, dont care much about who pay more or less. "
This. Just pay for stuff and don't worry about one paying more than the other. If someone is counting pennies then that doesn't seem healthy for the relationship. That's too much of a "me" thing and not enough of a "we" thing. It should be "we" have this money so what are "we" going to do with it?
Most Helpful Girl
Yes I find that it is. Even when I go out with friends we normally just split the check evenly as opposed to breaking it down. And when I go on trips with a gal pal we just take turns paying for meals. It just feels more harmonious that way.
If you are a good fit for each other it shouldn't matter. Typically however invites pays but if it has been a while since I paid and it is somewhere I like I insist on picking up the tab when my boyfriend and I go out.
I know a lot of people who say income doesn't matter you both should be putting in the same number of dollars but if I'm the one who makes considerably more more this is not the case.
For instance I live in a city where most bars are always packed. So if after dinner he suggests we grab a drink somewhere I insist on paying for the drinks because the only bars that aren't packed are the ones where drinks are really expensive and I don't like loud bars.
I try to keep it to where he gets to pay half the time but at cheaper activities.
Where I fail is when a guy makes way more than me and wants to spend hundreds of dollars every weekend on festivals or flying somewhere. He suggests all the activities and I pay for my tickets which kind of sucks. I mean I don't expect him to pay my way but if the tables were turned I would pay a guys way of I wanted him to go to a festival that was $500 a head every other weekend.
I had a relationship like that where every weekend we did all kinds of stuff and paid out on way. Maybe he would buy me some drinks at the festival or grab and go food after. But it felt more like I was his wingman or buddy than girlfriend because that was all we ever did. He never even took me to brunch or a nice restaurant.
I guess what I'm saying is don't use people but don't let yourself get used either. Splitting things down the middle works for some people but if he really cares about you he would want to do nice things for you every so often.