We both had sex and now my boyfriend isn't trying as hard. Help?

Okay so facts:
*we had sex once, it was too early in the relationship (he didn't finish)
*i understand guys are spacey and insensitive sometimes
*i gave him a chance to break up a couple of days ago but we're still together so I'm assuming he's still into me
*he recently told me he "loves me but isn't in love with me and wants to take it slow"
*stills texts me almost everyday but not as much
*calls me but very seldom
*Bf is in the military
*bf places utmost priority to religion, family, and career
*long distance 2 hours and he's busy all the time
*this may be an adjustment period or he really is spacing out

I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt that he is actually busy. Assuming this is just him being a guy and he DOES NOT want to break up with me, how do I get him to at least romance me a bit more with sex off the table? Also guys, what characteristics about a girl could make a man want to stay/leave? how can you tell if he actually likes you or of he's in this relationship with you for the benefits or he doesn't have the courage to tell you? How do you get a guy intrigued again after sex too early? And im not saying I wanna be #1 priority, but how do I at least get him to value me a bit?


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  • Ask for it? If not maybe try something unexpected or sexy to get him in the mood. Maybe a surprise visit with no panties on or something, but pack panties just in case he doesn't. If that doesn't really work then he might not be interested anymore.

    Guys look at a girl differently if they give it up too fast or too early, maybe he just thinks of you in a different eay now because there's really nothing for him to chase anymore. You gave him the physical you and now has to try to ease into the you you really are and a lot of guys don't really wanna do that.

    Still at least try to talk it out

    • he lives 2 hours away and he lives on a ship since he's in the navy, so no sexy surprises on the table hahaha, but how do you intrigue a guy through text without sex? I'm an awesome conversation person, but it's hard to deal with a guy who's tired cuz he texts so boring so I feel like I look desperate

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    • Aww thanks, it's just t that he is a decent guy and that's a good thing for me as of the moment considering my track record with players. I wanna stay with him because I believe he can be interesting if he tried but I understand balancing the military and communicating his family is very tedious. he's going back home for the holidays, if he doesn't pay enough attention to me, I might consider my options. do you think there's any reason why a guy wouldn't break up with you if he wasn't into you?

    • Well there are a lot of things from what I've seen, but usually it was for their personal gain-money, a place to live, the person buys them things, etc. But these don't apply to your situation.

      If you think he's an honest guy then hold on to him. Its not easy to change someone as it almost never really works to the extent where you want it, but its worth a shot. When you talk to him just be clear about what you want and expect from him. The trick for this though is to make it look like its not just him who has to work on self improvement.

      Guys tend to not handle criticism so well so when you tell him what you what also ask him what kind of change he would like from you this way it doesn't seem like you're attacking him. But I think you'll be fine though.

      Hope it works out ☺

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