When my boyfriend says "I guess"?

When my boyfriend says

He was fine earlier, this kinda hit me by surprise. Every time I would try to say good night, he would end it with "I guess", I don't know maybe it's me but he texts differently. He was at a friend's house doing hookah up until late night (maybe even slept over), he wouldn't tell me a name cuz I never asked but apparently his friend is a boy. I don't wanna be paranoid about him cheating without evidence so I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. I was gonna go out to the club and he didn't seem concerned through text he was just like "aayyyyee, turn up turn up" so I guess he doesn't care? Not that that's not good, I'm just asking if I should be worried if my boyfriend acts, well, like this? He's been switching up on vibes lately. One day he would be all happy and Approachable, the next day he's all reserved and insensitive and I assume he's just tired from work since he has a hard job or that he's one of those guys that act douchey when he's will friends. I know guys are sometimes boring, but he seems shady. I know I'm the main since he has pictures of me on his profile and we got the whole heart lock thing down on ig, but sometimes he treats me like a side, not saying he has other girls, but sometimes I don't feel like a girlfriend to him. I mean, I guess we ended on a good note, but can you explain the shade in the middle of the conversation? Are there any other reasons he would throw shade like this other than he was cheating?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Stop worrying to be honest, he's just not as lovey as you are, and you keep pestering him about something be up, it can be slightly annoying, but you can also tell him that you would appreciate it if he was sure with his answers and you want him to wish you a good night as well. I think he's just doing through some emotions he doesn't quite know how to deal with. You can honestly TALK to him communicate in your wants out of this relationship and ask him too x

    • Well I have talked to him, but he's very vague. I mean, I don't keep pestering him, this is actually the first time I've ever asked if he was sure he was okay because I don't wanna seem clingy. The reason why I am concerned about this one conversation is because he's been on and off like that A LOT. I don't expect guys to be lovey all the time, they're guys, I mean, that's just not how they work. However, I just wish things were more simpler. He seems like one of those guys that will never admit he's jealous and make things more complicated by not communicating even when you give him the opportunity to communicate, you know?

    • Show All
    • How are things now?

    • Still the same. It's weird, I don't know if he admitted to being arrogant or if it was a joke, but I'm starting to see it now. He's been busy or just uninteresting and I don't blame him for now because he's getting ready to fly back home. I have a feeling he won't call me while he's there but its okay. I just keep wondering if this is the adjustment period? We started talking 2 months ago and we just got together a little over a month ago. He started off sweet but it's been getting boring and more irritable.

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What Guys Said 1

  • You are over thinking things. I say let it go otherwise it turns really annoying

    • But I'm not trying to be annoying, I literally never bother him ever. Sometimes I even just bottle it up because I know that I signed up for a military boyfriend who will be busy all the time. Normally for something like this, it's not that big of a deal, but it all adds up. I mean, it sucks not being able to address something that bothers me because he's too busy or too tired and he gets irritated whenever I try to address something. I try to take him having to balance his life under consideration, but I wonder if he's ever aware that he has to consider me every now and then. He's been treating me like this after we had sex for the first time. I've given him a chance to open up if he wanted to break up, but we're still together so I assume he still wants me, but Im here tryna guess what he wants always. He seems so bored of me whenever I try to talk. Im just trying to make convo since he isn't. I just really dont feel like his girlfriend, I don't know whens the last Time he made me feel wanted.

What Girls Said 2

  • It looked like he said "I guess" to the "have fun." I do that too when I'm not really having any fun. That totally meant nothing. The rest of the "I guess'" were cuz you told him "have a good night I guess" then he just kinda responded because of it.

    • Yeah, it's just that lately he just seems like he isn't into me. I mean, a couple of days ago I got demoted from "I love you" to "i love you but I'm not in love with you". There will be moments where he's just like "why didn't you text me?" And he's happy, but he's been acting very indifferent To everything I say and he gets defensive a lot when I crack jokes sometimes. I just wonder sometimes if he's just being a guy and he does want to talk to me so he says "I guess" when I say goodbye, or he doesn't wanna talk to me when he says that? cuz he could've just been like "goodnight!" And not throw the pessimism you know? I would've still talked to him if he wanted me to.

    • Cuz if he wanted to break up with me, he would've done it already so I assume he still wants me. I just don't know when a guy wants to text me and doesn't wanna show it, or if he really is throwing shade?

    • Guys to girls are just as confusing as girls to guys. Guys have their mood swings too but you'll never get a guy to admit it. You're right though, if he wanted to break up with you then he would've done it. Some guys base their reactions off what their girl says to them. In that text you gave it looked like you overreacted a bit, which is fine, but sometimes if it happens often it can throw off a guy's mood.

      The whole "I love you but I'm not in love with you" crap is so played out already. That definitely throws off a girl's relationship mindset into thinking he doesn't really take the relationship seriously. Something better like 'I love you but its not super max or in full bloom right now' would be fine. Tbh I don't know what that's about, but he didn't leave so don't read too much into it

  • You're over thinking. Over reacting. Let it go.

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