Is this healthy?

Boyfriend and I had an argument. He ate a piece of pastry and the crumbs fell on the floor. I'd already cooked, cleaned, and wanted to just chill. I asked him nicely if he could pick up the piece of crumb. He said "It can't be. It's not possible. I didn't drop it." There were crumbs on the floor. I picked them up myself, and I said "there were crumbs on the floor and I already threw them away for you. Just don't tell me there were no crumbs like I'm crazy," sounding a little upset.

I sat on the computer to read and just chill out.

Five minutes later, he accused me of being angry still. I said, "No, I'm no longer angry. I'm okay now, I just want to chill and read articles for a bit."

He kept saying, "No you're still angry." Then we got into another argument about why I'm not angry. I kept saying I'm okay. I'm not angry.

He stormed off, and he said, "Fuck you!"

I tried to calm him down, but he was inconsolable. I freaking sprained my ankle in the process.

Two days later, he said he's sorry, but he needs time. What did I do wrong?
  • Abusive?
    Vote A
  • Normal?
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • You did absolutely nothing wrong. Is sounds to me like he's a childish brat that need to grow up.

    First, it shouldn't matter who dropped them. You asked if he could pick them up, a simple request for avery small chore and he refused.

    Secondly, he insisted you were still angry when you just wanted to chill, just as if he wanted to control your feelings.

    Third, he should not have left it two days before apologising.

    Sadly, this behaviour is all too "normal". Go find a good guy who can do things around the home without being asked.


Most Helpful Girl

  • If he's only your boyfriend and showing these behaviors, then if you ever get married, it'll only get worse. My dad was abusive and it was horrible. He sounds self centered and even though you might love him, it's not healthy or safe for you to be in this type of relationship. Talk to someone you trust for your own safety please.


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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • first of all, this does NOT legally clasify as abusvie behavior. At least not judging by what you have told.

    However it DOES classify as "immature brat" in my book. FIrstly because he can't frigin clean up after him, even when asked to. Secondly for taking things as far as he did.

  • What happened there sounds like he had an ex who played mind games with him. Some women like to be mad, and passive aggressive, then when we ask "Whats wrong" they continually deny anything is wrong, then if we believe them they wait awhile then explode because "How dare we not know that there is something wrong despite what she said" and if we keep pushing they use that as an excuse to be upset because "How dare we not believe them", basically they want to fight, and they do that to make it look like we are at fault.

    I have dated women like that before it is frustrating beyond words. Just assure him that you are not like that and if you were upset you would be open about it and not play mind games. You didn't do anything wrong, it sounds like he overreacted to what he thought you were doing.

  • He sounds really immature, but you also let him get to you too

  • He sounds like a BITCH! lmao


What Girls Said 3

  • So he made a small ordeal into a big one? Way to go for your boyfriend

    Just give him time to get over his issue. I think he just put himself into time out.

  • How did you sprain your ankle in the process? He sounds very short tempered and immature.

    • He was going to drive while angry, and I thought that was really dangerous. I ran outside, barefoot, to tell him to just take a walk and not drive, and also tell him to calm down. I ran back to the apartment. I sprained my ankle in the process. It sucked.

  • You sprained your ankle over crumbs?

    • I was asking myself that same question. I should have asked him to close that door shut when he walked out.

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