How many messages should a guy send before a girl will talk to him?

When I get matches with girls on Tinder, they don't seem to go anywhere. I only send one message to a girl; if she doesn't respond, she's clearly not interested and I move on. It's usually something funny like a joke or a bad pun--something to break the ice. Regardless, I rarely get a response back. It's supposed to be "the girl will talk to you if she likes you or wants to", which to me means they don't.

Should I be sending more messages or just give up entirely. I see posts about guys having lots of success with women on this dating app and all I'm wondering is what things they did that I failed to take into account. I know the cultural M. O. is that dating apps are a throw-away gimmick that shouldn't be relied on, but to some extend, it feels like it does. My thinking goes, if girls don't want to talk to me online, why would they in real life? I don't always think like this, but it does vex me from time to time. I'm curious what girls have to say on this matter.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Well what kind of pictures do you have on there? How attractive are you vs what kind of girls are you trying to message. Im not trying to be mean but if you're messaging super attractive girls and you're not particularly a super attractive guy then you're going to have problems. It's important to know where you are on the scale because i imagine its all about looks at first on Tinder? right?

    Also girls' inboxes are probably full of other guys who are also whipping our their bad puns and dad jokes (which are probably not original) and you're just piled in there along with them so you might have to stand out even more than that.

    Girls are less likely to ignore you if you approach them in real life i think so maybe try that? because It's so easy to say 'meh i don't like his shirt' *ignore* online

    • I've been told I'm a very attractive guy by many women, particularly attractive women. I'm not a good assessor of my own looks, so I can't vouch for that and I don't like to come off as full of myself.

      With that said, I suppose it wouldn't hurt to be more direct, instead of making bad jokes. I'm good with improvisation and comedy, so that's not at issue (I have to go to Urban Dictionary to learn what Dad Jokes are, I must be too old for those-ha, funny!). I suppose I just don't usually know what to say. I want to come off as somewhere between "interested guy" and "laid-back mystery", which is not easy to do online.

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