How do I tell my girlfriend of four years I'm leaving to join the military?

I'm in the U. S. and I'm not joining the U. S. military. Joining the french foregin legion and leaving in two months. I have my visa and everything ready. French foreign legion is a French Military branch that welcomes all foreginers to join. They come from all over the world. They teach you french and grant you citizenship.

It is very tough and very prestigous. I'm 27 years old..(GaG age is wrong) I'm utterly bored with life. I'm in better shape than most 20 year olds. I'm about to finish my degree and settle down. Girlfriend is probabaly thinking marriage/kids. I just can't do all that shit. Slaving to corporate america to feed kids just sounds like hell on earth to me. I tried to get into the U. S. Military when I was younger but they wouldn't accept me because I have a couple metal screws in my jaw. I need some excitement in my life. I need something new. I need an adventure.. Going to war with a bunch of men from across the globe sounds like quite the fucking adventure to me.

I've always been a savage type of guy. Been training MMA for years. Was great football in high school. I just feel like I need this in my life and I won't feel complete until I do this.

I figure after I serve my 5 years in the legion I can do some contracting work and come back and live in the U. S. I know I'll lose everyone I know within that 5 years.

How do I tell this all to my girlfriend? I love her so much.
To you guys saying I don't love my girlfriend you don't know what you are talking about. I absolutely love this woman. I would love for her to stay with me during this but I don't expect her to do this. I'm going to to be 30 soon enough and it will be too late for me to ever do this. I don't want to live my life in regret. This means A LOT to me.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Well actually unlike some of the comment below, I support your POV. Loving someone can't stand in the way of your dreams, and it will hurt later to live your life in regret. If she really loves YOU then she will do her best to understand and support your decision. If marriage is one of HER big dreams, then maybe you need to decide what's more important, La Legion or your family (which you don't seem too interested about)...

    Tell her exactly the way the prompt was written above, but break it to her gently and make sure you tell her that you are definitely coming back for her, and reassure her you love her.

    Maybe don't say that you're bored with your life (because that includes her), and instead stress that this is a big part of what's in your blood and your dream.

    Lastly, don't expect her to take it in a great way- she will most likely be upset and possibly consider breaking it off (maybe temporarily). If she would live on base with you that would be better, but also, this is the military. Your life isn't guaranteed either.

    • The legion is notorious for being deployed in hot zones. A lot of fallen legionaries.. it's much more dangerous than traditional military. I know once she does the research on the legion it will break her. Thanks for your input.

    • Yeah, especially with La Legion getting heated up with the terrorism, etc. Hopefully your girlfriend stays with you or you work something out :)

Most Helpful Guy

  • Love is not a word that you simply say; it is a way that you treat someone. You made all of these plans without including her and you are leaving for 5 years and this will be the end of your relationship with her. You have already severely wounded your first victim, but don't call this "friendly fire."


Recommended Questions

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • Sorry, one thing bugs me about this... you love your girlfriend of 4 years, but you've planned out a new life that doesn't seem to involve her, without ever mentioning it to her? Doesn't seem like you love her very much, does it?

    Anyway, to answer your question, tell her what you just explained in that question. But do expect her to be very, very upset. Most people would be.

    • Well I would love for us to stay together.. If she did I would ask her to marry me before I left. I can't fault her if she decides to leave though. I absolutely love her. As a man I feel I need to do this though. This is my last opportunity. Before I know it I'll be 30 years old. I get 45 days of leave a year. I don't know if she could live on base w/ me.

    • I understand that, really. I'm just questioning your devotion to her, as she probably will, because you didn't tell her about this before you even started organising it.

  • After 4 years you guys aren't on the same page? Anyways, you just have to tell her. The sooner the better so she has time to process this and she if she's okay with this.

    Would you be leaving her for 5 years or are you asking her to come with you?

    • It's up to her if she wants to stay with me. I have 45 days of leave a year. We are very close but I've kept this to myself for obvious reasons. If she did stay with me we would get married before i leave. It would be a dream if she did but I obviously can't fault her if she can't do it.

    • Show All
    • Guess I'm just building up the courage to tell her.

    • Good luck! I hope everything works out :)

  • You're being a total drama king.


What Guys Said 6

  • You also have to be incredibly fucking fit and relinquish all allegiance with any other country all citizenship is gone and you're family no longer exists

    And the legion is like the marines

    There is no such thing as an ex marine

    • Been training MMA for years bro. I'm in better shape than most. Can put some pain on people too. I'm an athlete.

    • Show All
    • They don't want smart. They want someone who will obey orders do do dirty work i. e. illegal operation and murder.

    • @Fluttershy22 Are you a legionnaire?

  • you: what do you think of france?
    her: her answer
    you: interesting because i got a tickets to go
    her: really? how did you get it and afford it? are you taking me?
    you: yeah i can afford it and no. i'm gonna be going on x date
    her: when will you be back?
    you: 5 years :D
    her: 5 YEARS? what the fuck are you doing?
    you: nothing special. you know... joining the FRENCH FUCKING LEGION!!!

    after that, you're on your own, bruh. also, i doubt that shit'll fly with her. good luck, son

  • Tell her what you told us

  • What's the point the FFL is mostly made up of people that made mistakes in life and need to forum a new life "New papers" After 3 Years you get French citizen ship.

    The FFL is not like most military forces you will be deployed to a hot zone and very well risk it all.

    Basically not worth it, if you love her then you would do something else.

    • And wanting to go to war and harm other people. I think you need medication.

    • I guess I can say this because I am anon but I want my combat fix. I'm ready for people to tell me I'm crazy. Just fantasize about the camaraderie of war and the general experience.

  • you sound like my ex, "loves me" but doesn't do shit to be with me and chose to go away to join the navy and suck on some submarines dick...

    you don't love her dude, get your head straight, and yeah if thats what you really want go to war!

  • You don't need to tell her anything except "bitch, I'll be gone a while"


Recommended myTakes