I have a boyfriend but can't let go of a past fling?

I met this guy over a year ago. I literally thought he was the one, sadly he moved right after we met for school and things fizzeled out. He was very distant and flakey and for a while we didn't talk, it really hurt me. We reconnected a little over summer and he left for school again. I somewhat lost interest as I realized I deserved better. Apparently he noticed me edging away and suddenly became more interested, any weekend he's back in town, he's asked to spend it with me.

Well, I recently got into a relationship with this new guy. He's everything the other one isn't, attentive, eager to see me, affectionate, and he lives here as opposed to hours away. I saw the first guy about 2 weeks ago, right before me and this new guy made it official. I didn't have the heart to tell him I had met somone. And I felt guilty for hanging out with him.

The first guy will be back for a whole month. He's been trying to communicate with me which is strange because he used to never do that while he was away. At some point I have to tell him. But I just feel like I physically can't. I liked him so much at one point, and it hurts to think we'd suddenly be out of each other's lives. I know I sound so finicky, but I know if had both guys standing in front of me, I would choose the one I'm currently dating.

However, I will be moving in less than a year. I know that me and the guy I'm currently with will not continue a relationship once I leave. But here's the thing, the first guy is so similar to me in the way he was raised and his goals, so a part of me feels like down the road (like years) we could start fresh. I just feel like we met when we were too young. But I feel like he is someone I could really see myself with in the long run, once we've both done some growing up. Is it bad to have these thoughts while dating someone else? I would never cheat. But I don't want to completely throw away what I had with the first guy.


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What Guys Said 2

  • Follow your heart girl. I like that you think about the future, so based on that you should maybe make your decisions. Good luck anyways!

  • Just see them both then

    • Haha I don't think they'd be okay with that

    • You never no

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