Bringing up cuddling vs bringing up sex?

I've noticed something since being on tinder, and during the times I use it. Most guys have mentioned either wanting to cuddle with me, mentioning helping to warm me up by cuddling with me, or telling me to let them know if I ever want to cuddle with them sometime.

Why not just straight up say you want to have sex with a girl? What are they trying to accomplish under the guise of The Cuddle Strategy?

I asked my manager and he said it's 'cause most girls would be put off by a guy straight up saying "Hey you wanna fuck?" But I just... the cuddle thing is cheesy as hell. It's a weak move, but it's apparently a quite common one.

Would you mention cuddling to a girl or are you straight up with what you want and go for the Sex Attack vs The Cuddle Strategy?
  • I go for The Cuddle Strategy
    Vote A
  • I go for The Sex Attack
    Vote B
  • I use The Cuddle Strategy
    Vote C
  • I use the Sex Attack
    Vote D
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Yeah I can see how a guy would want to say he wants to cuddle vs wanting to have sex. Cuddling may feel less direct or it's less likely the girl would feel like a slut basically. That does sound like a way to try and gain leverage or an advantage lol. I do like to cuddle which can easily lead to sex but I don't have an issue telling my girlfriend that I want sex with her. I just wouldn't stay with a girl that isn't interested in regular sex. I don't want to feel like I'm trying to convince her. The guys on tinder are mostly looking for sex and they don't know you so they are trying to give themselves the best opportunity while trying to minimize offending you.

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What Guys Said 40

  • Dafuq you got against cuddling?
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    • I want a dick in my vagina, Nate.

      I mean I guess I'm ok with cuddling afterwards but I want a guy who is dominant as fuck and tells me how much he wants to fuck me.

      Not some submissive dude who tells me how much he wants to cuddle me.

    • Show All
    • I think you're referring to the feminazis and not feminists and we might have a problem in our friendship if you're referring to feminists and not just feminazis.

    • I think if you want to keep your movement viable you need to address the feminazis that have more clout in the movement, media, and public at large than anyone who says "they aren't really feminists."
      Call yourself a feminist, call them feminazis, but recognize that they are representative of feminism to the general public.
      That's why egalitarianism is better ;)

  • I go for The Sex Attack

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  • Go for the sex blitz!

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  • Perhaps these guys are forgetting that girls on tinder are looking for sex... In general the cuddle strategy might make more sense.

    I don't use Tinder anyway though, I'm nothing impressive, certainly not appealing enough for casual sex.

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  • I wouldn't want a girl saying "wanna fuck?" to me, I'd want her to know she at least wants to spend some time with be before it, if that means cuddling, why not? I just don't want to feel used, that's all

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  • I genuinely like to cuddle

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  • TINDER IS STUPID DON'T USE IT GUYS. It's just for boosting girls EGOS !!

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  • I don't know. If I wanted to fuck you I'd just say it. Don't really care to waste time trying to "sway" her. Either she wants to do it or she doesn't. I'm not going to try to trick her.

    I see you went to single. Done sending nudes to that guy huh? Am I next? XD

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    • And that's why you're, in my personal opinion, infinitey better than those guys. Because you get to the point. You're straight-forward.

      Hard to send nudes to someone who's been too preoccupied for you for the past two months and has gone completely MIA for the past like three weeks. It's whatever.

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    • Yeah, so, I mean.. he can hit me up when he isn't too busy for me anymore and then we'll see if we're at where we were when he decided to not make time for me anymore.

      It's whatever to him, lol. As in "whatever happens, happens." as in: if we never talk again, we never talk again. If we do talk again, neat. I didn't lose a friend because he forgot about me or abandoned me.

    • Yeah I understand.

      Okay.

  • Saying the word "sex" kills intrigue. Success in dating/fucking is intrigue, interest... by suggestion. Being too forward routinely leads to failure.

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    • Being forward will make me infinitely more attracted to a man than him being sheepish.

    • Let me rephrase that.

      Being forward is fine. But doing so without an element of intrigue is not.

  • Give her cuddles, bitches love cuddles.

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    • Actually I'd prefer if he asked me if I wanted to meet up and fuck instead of beating around the bush and using cuddling as an excuse to get me into his bed.

      If a guy can't be forward enough with telling me he wants to fuck me, then he's probably too submissive for me.

    • Cuddles don't have to be sexual in nature, they just often lead to it.

    • Then I'm not interested and I'm gonna lose hope in men if the cuddle strategy keeps getting used on me.

What Girls Said 6

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