New boyfriend aloof and awkward around me - what's up?

I have been dating a guy for a few months now. When we first met I asked him to keep things in the friend zone because I just wasn't ready for a relationship. After seeing each other like this for about a month and a half we finally decided to take it to the next level and started having sex/being a lot more flirty with each other.

In the past few weeks he invited me to several events with his friends and work colleagues, and always tells me how much everyone loves me/ raves about me afterwards.

But here is the problem. Lately, even though he's inviting me to all these things (and even had this weird drunken conversation where he indirectly asked me to be his girlfriend...) he is very awkward and aloof around me lately. We don't get a lot of time to hang out and just... do boyfriend/girlfriend things so I find he's awkward in conversation. He's also very... not affectionate. I get the feeling like he's afraid to come on too strong or something? It's awkward though because like when we're hanging out with his friends he's very talkative with everyone BUT me. It's just such mixed messages! It also seems like he is very willing to invite me to group things, but not as keen to hang out just him and I having dinner etc.

I think he's a real catch but his awkardness/ lack of physical affection makes me feel really unsure of his feelings and makes it really awkard for me to pursue the relationship. In text he is very forward about how he feels but in person I feel like he's barely interested in me at all! Is he just nervous?

How can I make him feel more comfortable? Do you think he'll warm up to me in time? What can I say to him to help the situation - should I just come out and say this?


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What Guys Said 1

  • hmm. Need to know more.. I take it you both have had prior relationships

    • Yes of course :) What more do you need to know? If it helps, his past relationship ended badly - he was cheated on and took it very hard. They were together for several years...

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    • You think? When we first started hanging out he was keen to make plans and see me often. Now he's almost.. nervous and flakey on our plans! It makes me feel that he doesn't even like me but then he constantly texts me and is very vocal about his feelings through text. Also, he does invite me to all these friend hangouts/ work events. It's just.. to the point where I feel like we barely know each other on a one-on-one level. Should I mention this to him? I'm not afraid to talk about it I just don't know what's going on in his mind.

    • well who knows how anothers person mind works without some sci fi gadget.

      you could try talking to him, but ask yourself what good it will do if you dont believe or get the answers you are given

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