Should I break up with my long distance girlfriend?

Been in a long distance relationship with a girl for almost a month. We talked for a great many months before deciding to go out based on worry that it would be difficult and the fact we had never done it before. It's had it ups and downs for sure. The girl in question is great, never cared about anyone as much in my life and I love making her smile and happy but I feel that we're being naive. We're both 18, I'm in UK and she's in New York. I plan on visiting and she wants me to go in January. I thought I'd have enough but hours at work have been cut (I'm working a year before Uni) and parent's won't help pay for the trip even though they themselves started long distance. I feel this dissapointment that I might not be able to go will be painful for us both and I don't want to hurt her more than I need to. I'd have enough for march but waiting that long sounds like a nightmare - a possible one - but still not the prefferable choice. She says she loves me, says everything that you'd expect in this sort of thing but I know its hard for her. She's kissed her ex on one occation, a minor thing but the mindset worried me. I think that the longer we wait the more danger there is of heatbreak. I feel I should make the sensible choice and break things off. I should become the villian in the situation so she can be happy with someone closer to her.

I also mentioned that I need to apply to uni and she said go to New York. I thought at the time it would be a good idea. I've wanted to go there since being a child and she'd be there. But its a lot of time and money to wager on her and though I have faith things would work out my inner cynic is worried. She said that she'd wait and move here if she could but I don't think that would happen in truth. She said if I didn't get over there she'd want to be friends but I don't want that at all and said so. Since that she's made it sound like she's staying with me because she has to? its strange, some things she says contradict s


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  • Here's the thing, you haven't met her yet, not real girlfriend, to me you gotta meet in real life.

    • I guess you're right to an extent but it doesn't change the main parts of the question. even if its not real I still have a "pretend girlfriend" to worry about

    • Well since its such a long distance I'd just move on.

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