We slept together but wondering if my mistakes made her cold/distant or I'm imagining that she is?

I've been dating this foreign girl and we've had four dates, the fourth in which she invited me out with her friends. At the end she told me to get a taxi back to her place where we had sex, however I wasn't able to climax (due to masterbating previously in the day) and the fact that I had a few drinks and was tired.

I asked her if she'd want to be my girlfriend, but she giggled and said it was "too soon". She looked like she enjoyed it and we cuddled after and slept together. When we both woke up in the morning she was facing me and went in to kiss me. We both got changed and I was sat on my phone as she was doing her hair. She said I could go if I wanted (as she knew I had work) so I did and we kissed, I exited and as I looked back she closed the door.

That was Monday morning, so I texted her Wednesday midday saying "Hey you, yeah you.. Can you keep a secret?". She replies 3 mins later "What secret?". I reply 30 minutes later with "Don't tell anyone, but I met this cute girl on Sunday. Her name is (her name). She snores a lot though".

Seven hours later, assuming she is at work due to delayed reply, she says "I don't know that girl sorry"

Is it just me thinking she's acting cold/distant? A couple things that are worrying me is that 1) I didn't climax and I'm worried she might think it's because I'm not attracted to her or not as experienced, 2) I pulled the "be my girlfriend" card, which I wish I didn't, but she didn't seem put off at the time and 3) she told me I talked in my sleep, but wasn't able to tell me what.

Overthinking? I'm going to ask when she is next free to get together, because obviously that will get me an answer.


Recommended Questions


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • Yeah for sure try to see her again and then you can gauge her and see if she is acting differently. The only reason the cold reply could have been that she was embarrassed you said she snored. I would be a little shamed if a guy brought up my snoring :(

    • We did joke about it in the morning, after she told me I spoke in my sleep. If she is still interested then I'll not mention it again. Would something like that be a deal breaker if it's mentioned one or two times as teasing? I'd understand if I constantly reminded her

    • Show All
    • My only guess could be asking her to be my girlfriend and she said it was too soon, maybe acted too keen but she seemed perfectly fine after. I remember the following morning as I was sat looking at my phone at the end and she was doing her hair, she said I could go if I wanted so as she took me to her door and I got my coat I kissed her but when we kissed she pulled away first, then I left but as I looked back she was stood behind the door (whereas last time she smiled at me),

      I've decided I'm not going to send another message, they say inaction is the best way to get a reaction from a girl. If she DIDN'T get my "date request" message, then my last message to her showed interest and called her cute whilst teasing her. There's been plenty of times where she's replied then re-initiated with me.. So I'm going to pull back all contact until she gets in touch, because if she was at least still slightly interested then she would.

    • Yes precisely ;) if she is still interested, she will contact you, try not to rush into a relationship so quickly and though i know it is hard when you are interested, try not to overthink so much, :) good luck!

What Guys Said 1

  • For now let's consider you're overthinking. Try to meet her again in person and then see how things go to confirm if she's really acting distant.


Recommended myTakes