How to surpass cultural difference when it comes to dating a white American girl?

Im an Asian international student doing grad school in the US. There is a girl who happens to be white that I met in grad school class, I really like her as she's very nice and kind, and have known her for one and a half year, about a year ago, I asked her for a date, but she rejected with a reason that she was too busy with school, so I could only be friends with her. After that, we have been good friends, we went out together many times, I have waited until she graduated, which is couple days ago, and asked her again, she said she's now talking to an italian guy who's working in the US, and replied me that she does not want to date me due to cultural difference, she only prefers to date an American guy, tho, not specifically white, which I dont know if she's telling the truth as she's now talking to an italian guy who is white. So I wonder if it is possible to surpass this barrier, and date a white girl as an international Asian guy?

To sum up, after the first rejection, she always said that I'm a very nice guy, lets be friends, and following second rejection, she said the same thing, and asked to remain good friends.


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What Girls Said 1

  • From your description I can reassure you that she is not interested in dating you. If she has come up with a reason as to why she can't date you more than once then let it be. When a girl really likes a guy she will swim across the ocean to be with him and nothing can stop her.

    • So you think it has nothing to do with being Asian, or being an international?

    • I don't know. But she isn't attracted to you and you can't do anything about that. The best thing you can do is to move on.

    • I understand you point, and am trying to move on now, but based on the reason she told me, it makes me feel that will it ever be possible to approach other white American girls, as they may share the same opinions

What Guys Said 2

  • Yes, it is possible to surpass the barrier. :) In fact, if I recall correctly from marriage statistics, the most common kind of mixed couple -- that happens for Asian guys in America -- is with white girls. And I've personally known and seen several Asian guy/white girl couples in the US, and most of those girls -- if I might add -- ranged from above-average in looks to insanely attractive, lol.

    As long as a guy of any race has conviction and aggressively goes after what he wants in life, he will often get it.

    But no guy gets everything that he wants all the time. xD So, sorry to say this, man -- but this one particular girl you want from grad school doesn't like you back. :( She made excuses not to date you! First she claimed it was because she was "too busy", and then now she claims it's because she wants an "American guy"... and then proceeds to date a guy from Italy, LOL. <_<

    As the saying goes: look at what she does, not what she says.

    If a girl says no once, sometimes it may be because of a misunderstanding, not the right time, uncertainty, etc. BUT, usually I find that when I try reaching out to a girl TWICE and still end up falling on my face, it's time to let her go. She doesn't want you. But there are other girls out there who might. You've just gotta move on from this one, in order to see the others.

    • Thank you so much for your response, its so valuable! But from your statistics, are those guys Asian American, because that makes a lot of difference between Asian guy raised in the US, and in Asian country, I know myself that I am very outgoing and different from typical Asian guy, I go to gym 5 times a week, so I def look different but still as you said I was not able to win her heart, so I should move on. In the future, if a girl says the same think that she is too busy to date anyone, should I ask her again if it will be possible in the future when everything is settled, so I dont have to waste my time asking twice with the already expected answer?
      Thank you again!

    • Show All
    • Thanks again! What I regret the most is that she has never given me a chance to actually go on for a date, but maybe she has observed me as a friend over a year to see the possibility. Hopefully, next time, if I happen to approach a white American again, I should make it clear at the beginning and ask for possibility so I dont have to waste the time, and feeling for so long.

    • Good luck, man. Hope you find the girl you're looking for. =) The girls who would give you that chance are definitely out there!

  • Asians should preserve arranged marriages and their cultures. Stop copying us. Feminism was a mistake

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