Guys, I need your help with this frustrating situation?

So I've been seeing this guy for over a month. We are not official yet, but last week when he was drinking at a buddies he asked me if I would date him and I said I would. He told me he would date me too.

I didn't take him seriously but he told me that he wasn't just saying it. But he was still drinking when he said that so...

Anyway, We've been on 2 dates in the past month. He usually intiates texts, he will send me a good morning text and usually a good night text, and some throughout the day. Lately, however, the good night and good morning texts have not been happening. I've had to initiate those texts.

But he usually does text me back. He keeps telling me how he doesn't like being single. Like he said yesterday that this is his 2nd Christmas in a row being single and it's starting to suck. So I said to him "Well, maybe that will change soon ;)". I was trying to be flirty (I think I failed). He responded, basically by telling me that he likes to take things slow and said he believes it's the right way to do things. I can't argue with that, but it's a bit frustrating not knowing whether he actually likes me or not :S

I feel confused. Because the last date, I had to set up. Then He kept telling me how he's bored and so I suggested we see each othe while we are on holidays. He said sure and then later that day he was telling me that he's bored and asked me what I was doing today. I said I was free and we were going to set up a time to meet.

He said he would text me in the morning. Well, that didn't happen. I texted him and then he finally responded. Then told me that he was going to his dad's today because he didn't see him yesterday.

I'm not bothered by the fact that he had a family thing. But he's not giving me any specific times so I'm not sure if it's just a blow off or if he legit has something going on :/

What do you guys think? We met online and he still has his profile up and is still active on there. I have mine up too, but only because he has his up.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Hmm... when you say his profile is still active online, can you tell if he's frequently active? Like on Match, it'll say if the person has been on there in the past 24 hours, past few days, past week, etc. If that continues, it's obvious he's on there looking for someone.

    It doesn't sound like hie's uninterested in you, though. Just sounds like he maybe doesn't know what he wants, or he's keeping his options open until he decides to dive in with someone. What doesn't come through in your story is how YOU feel about him... would you really like to date this guy? As in, you've got a pretty big crush? :)

    • I've got a big crush on this guy :P I'm trying hard to stay objective, but I know I am falling for him. That's the problem. I feel myself getting disappointed when he cancels plans or can't see me that day. I'm just worried that he doesn't like me as much as I like him :( I guess that's why I am so frustrated. I want to know I'm not wasting my time.

      As for the profile, he was on today, that's what it said. And yesterday I checked and he had been online in the past week. I still go on regularly and talk to other guys. We're not in a relationship yet and because I'm unsure how he feels, it's hard for me to justify giving up on the site and seeing where it goes with him. Especially if he is still on the site as well.

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    • I think that's what I've got to do. Like today we were supposed to see each other. But then he tells me his dad wants to see him. I get that completely. But then why not set up another time? Instead he says later or tomorrow. So to me that's still pretty vague. I'm not trying to be needy. But I'm really hurting. I had an ex who began blowing me off regularly, and it started as innocent as this is. So I'm having a hard time deciphering between interest but being busy vs non-interest and blowing off. He just texted me asking me what I'm up to, because he said his dad seems like he's bailing... so apparently I'm a back up plan?

    • That may not be true. Don't forget that this is the holidays and he might be very busy. I know if a girl tried to contact me - even if I really liked her - on Christmas, I wouldn't be the fastest to respond. Lots of family obligations and all that.

      And he could just be trying to keep that casual vibe. Doesn't mean you're a back-up plan.

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What Guys Said 1

  • Honestly, it sounds like he isn't the right guy. Even if he's not blowing you off (which he could be), he clearly isn't actively trying to make enough time for you or be straight forward with you. I would say you should probably find someone else.

    • I kind of agree with you. Like he messages me through the day which is nice. But this is the second time we have tried to make plans where he ends up becoming busy. I just feel he isn't making enough time to truly get to know me.

      Even with new years, he kept asking me what I was doing, saying he was free. I told him I was free several times, then after our last date he told me he was going over to a buddies for NYE. I was kind of bummed as he knew all my friends were busy. Not that I think he owes me NYE, but it would be nice to have at least been considered.

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