How soon is too soon for sex (if you want to be taken seriously) ?

  • 3rd date
    Vote A
  • Any time before he asks you to be his girlfriend
    Vote B
  • 10th date
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
I'm a GirlI'm a Guy


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know about other guys but it makes absolutely no difference to me how soon the woman wants to have sex. If she seems to be deliberately holding back because she's worried about making a bad impression actually that's not good, it shows she's being artificial.


Most Helpful Girl

  • There is no set time.

    Just don't do it within the first few dates.

    What's exciting is a bit of a challenge.

    Easy access to anything takes away the enjoyment.

    When something is easily attainable, no one really has any care for it.
    Why? because usually this person will feel every one has been able to get the same thing already.

    Value goes up when something is harder to get your hands on.
    Wait after several dates and then think about sex.
    Better yet, go with the flow.
    Get to know each other a little better.
    What is the rush?


Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • There's no standard to me, it's up to you and him.
    There are many virgins on this site so be ready for that to be the consensus, but you should pursue intimacy as you feel ready.

  • If I'm getting it on the first date, and I'm actually approaching it as a date not a hook up, then that too soon. Sends red flags to me. In my experience 4 dates seems to be normal but it's entirely up to you. If you're not sure talk about it, honesty is always best.

    • Does "date" include just hanging at his house? And do guys test girls by trying to initiate sex to see what they do..

  • I honestly couldn't choose a vote thingy

    It depends on the person and how important it is to them.
    Some people just want to lose it, doesn't matter who
    Some want it to be with their SO
    Some wait until marriage

    It all depends on the person

  • It's perfectly all right to talk about sex on the first date. Sex is an important part of life.


What Girls Said 5

  • Unfortunately, there isn’t an exact or definite answer for this question. Reason being is that there are multiple underlying factors that determine whether or not you will be taken seriously if or when you have sexual intercourse… for example, my boyfriend and I had sex just a few days after we met, before we were steady… surprisingly enough, the next day he asked me if I would be his girlfriend and I said yes… we have been together for nearly two years now… but I have had friends that would wait several months to have sex and then be dumped or taken lightly right after… it all depends on whom you’re with, I suppose… wish I could have been of more help.

  • I made my husband wait for almost 3 hours. /:

    Honestly would've been less, but the flight wasn't cancelled for sure right away. (Backstory: We met at the gate, flight was cancelled, he was cute, we decided to split a room overnight to save $$. Long distance love ensued.)

    Now in year 14 of a marriage that's more fulfilling than I ever would have thought possible. Considering it's a marriage of 2 people who both swore, growing up, that they'd never get married.

    • Loved reading ur story. Thanks

    • Thanks <3

      Oh by the way, I probably wouldn't have waited longer than 3 hours anyway, even without the long-distance thing. Haha.

      Hubby just walked behind the screen and laughed out loud at that sentence ("I made my husband wait...").
      He didn't laugh because the story was funny-- He laughed at the thought that I'm even capable of holding out. Because I'm a big ol' filthy dirty slutty-slutty slut-slut. (:

  • I had sex with my boyfriend as a kinda one night stand, we then started dating and over a year later we are still together. Sex makes no difference, it depends on the people and if they're compatible :)

    • Love that. Sex shouldn't determine seriousness or eface a lesser value. Thats just not fair! So im hapy to read what u wrote

    • Exactly! Don't worry about when's the "right" time - do what you want! :)

  • I think you should wait until you know for sure he respects you, listens to you, and cares for you. Be certain he's single and isn't messing with other females. When he makes plans he keeps them. You've met family and friends. You be in public together during the day as well as some nights before 10. You see that he's trying and with that being said you're comfortable around him. Once you've established ALL of this feel free to pick a day to share your goods. There is no set date for when to first have sex, not the 3rd date 10th date nor 3 months. Do not put your whole heart in it at all, wait until you know for sure he loves you (FIRST ) and that he shows it. Then you're good to go.

  • Rule of Steve Harvey: don't have sex within the first 90 days when you two started to date if you ant to take the rls serious. I'm agree with that, but anyways, it's up to you and your gf/bf!

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