Should I be worried about my boyfriends new coworker?

He hasn't been there long. Maybe a month. However, this new coworker of his goes out of her way to tell my boyfriend her life story. I find it quite bothersome; mainly because he doesn't even talk to me about work anymore but he talks to me about her.. I know this woman's whole life practically and I don't even know her personally. He's told me she's married and has a daughter. He's also told me irrelevant information about her regarding her childhood. I now know that she went to a private school in Wisconsin from age 9 till she graduated and it was an all girl school and there were only 20 students there with her. Little things about this woman's life is now invading my life because my boyfriend and her talk for hours while working.

Perhaps I am a little jealous. Jealous of the fact that I have been with him 5 years now and it takes a miracle for him to remember things I said yesterday, let alone things I have told him about my past. Jealous of the fact that our conversations have now consisted of this woman instead of other things. Its gone on for a week and a half now.

Should I be worried about her? Not only is it making me uncomfortable that he talks about her a lot but the fact that she literally goes out of her way to tell my boyfriend everything about her. They don't even work in the same department. Same floor but different departments.

I want to point out that this woman works on the opposite side of the building. He is not allowed to leave his work station under any given circumstance. Its part of his work guidelines. However, this woman will make her way across the building to speak to him and I know it isn't work related where their departments are in no way connected to each other. She works as a career consultant and he works with the insurance company. Their companies are not tied to one another. She still seeks him out.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Has he gave any reason to worry other than talk about her life?

    • Its just the fact that he talks about her 24/7. He hasn't been acting differently toward me in anyway but he seems 100% uninterested in anything that I say and the only time he will engage in conversation is when its about her.

    • Show All
    • Alright! Thank you!

    • Welcome and let me know how it works out :-) hopefully well!

Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd be uncomfortable

    And extremely jealous

    Maybe you should try talking to him about it?

    • I've tried unfortunately. And all he said was that I needed to stop being like that.

    • Maybe try talking to him again and explain how it makes you uncomfortable and you're jealous

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • These kinds of relationships are quite common in the workplace. Sometimes it is easier to talk openly about things with a coworker than your own spouse. If things don't go well and the coworker doesn't like what you are saying, no problem. If he is sharing things with you and it doesn't go well, he still has to live with you so he may be guarded about what he talks about.

    Why not see if he wants to invite her to your house for drinks and conversation. Maybe this is a way to work yourself back into the conversations with your husband. Or you could meet her for a girls night out drink and do some searching into her motives. And going way out on a limb, if she is interested in him sexually would you be comfortable with bringing her into the bed with both of you?

    Don't sit idly by, be aggressive and see if she is wanting a sexual relationship with him or is she just lonely.

    • I would never consider her an option to bring into our sex lives. However, a girls night out or inviting her into our home for dinner may be an option. I'm just hesitant on allowing her to get any closer to us than she already is because for some reason, my gut is telling me not to trust this woman.

    • Trust your guy feeling.

  • He is telling you about her. You would have a reason to worry if he were keeping her a secret. Like you said she's married and has kids, so perhaps he saw an opportunity to have a friendship with a female.

    • I have no problem with him being friends with her. However, the only thing he will talk to me about is her. And she goes out of her way to speak to him daily. He isn't allowed to leave his station at work and she works on the opposite end of the building but will still find her way over to him.

What Girls Said 3

  • Women are just chatty. I've worked with people who run at the mouth about nothing all day despite my disinterest but it sounds like he has a crush. She sounds harmless though.

    • She's the one who goes out of her way to go down to his department. He isn't even allowed to leave his station.

  • well, if he wants to cheat on you, he will. Why worrying? if he's not faithful why worrying? better get that kind of people out of your life

    • He's never cheated and never given me reason to believe he ever would. He's very open. No locks on his phone, constantly leaving himself logged into social media because he wants me to feel free to "check up on him" whenever I doubt him. He's very faithful. But I don't trust this woman.

  • You shouldn't worry if you trust him.

    If you haven't already, maybe express some concern or tell him you'd rather not talk about her.

    • He's never given me reason to question him before. However, its not really him that I am worried about. He works in a department where you are not allowed to leave your station under any circumstance. I have went and had lunch with him and we had to remain in his office because of this rule. However, this woman works on the opposite end of the building and will make her way to his department to speak to him about irrelevant things. And I know it isn't work related because their departments are in no way connected to each other. I don't trust her.

    • There's no reason for this woman to seek out my boyfriend under any given circumstance. She seemed him out her first day there and has been in his office everyday since that point talking to him about her life instead of doing her job and actually working on the projects she was hired for.

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