LDR and selfish tendencies... am I making a mistake leaving my home town for him?

I've been dating this guy for a little over a year and a half. The bulk of our relationship has been long distance since I'm away from college for holdiay and summer break. We just finished a stint where he lives an hour away while I finish my last extra semester (he graduated 1 semester before me) and we were doing okay at this. He stays at my apartment a couple nights a week. However, the honeymoon phase has definitely ended and we started fighting more as the stress for me to find a job started to kick in, and where I would end up living (either NH near him or my home town maryland).

Overall, since the beginning of our relationship has started I've noticed that he's fairly selfish. Im usually the one buying things, cleaning and cooking when he's over, talking over me a fair amount, and if we are in a fight he refuses to talk it out. We got in a fight one night after he came over from work (9-10pm) and said "what did I do to deserve this" and let me sleep on the floor instead of trying to make up and bring me back to bed. I'm making the sacrafice to move to NH (away from family and most of my friends, and job connections), and have been having a really hard time trying to find a job in my field in the area but he's not able to leave because he has a NH scholarship to go to school for 2 more years. Meanwhile, he's working at the liqour store part time, and is currently unsure of what he wants to do- paramedic school or mba. The plan was for me to get a job near him and he'd move in and help with some of the rent.

However, I left for Christmas vacation and he barely texts (3 texts a day if I'm lucky) with no real sharing of information. Like he's just telling me where he is, but not asking about my day. He calls maybe once a week, and doesn't Skype. Before when we were apart he would Skype me every other day, or call and definitely text much more. He's said he's all in for our future but his actions say otherwise. Can he become less selfish or is this a mistake?

He is currently living at home with his mom (it's been just the two of them since he was 5). He has said he would move anywhere with my once his schooling was over. I want to believe that he loves me, and that he'll get less selfish over time but his action just don't merit it and i'm scared that I'm leaving everything I know for a man who isn't willing to put me before himself, in a similar way to how I put him before my own needs.


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  • Ldr are a waste of time and energy.