He Likes Me But Doesn't Trust Himself and Then Ignored Me. What do I do?

S, my friend and I have been hanging out for close to four years and I've liked him for majority of the time. A few months ago he texted me after school and we began asking each other questions. I ended up telling him I liked him and he suddenly started texting me a whole bunch. The thing is he would only talk to me over text and not at school which confused me. Anyway, skip a few months, he and I were talking again and I tried asking him out in our own little way. He replied by saying "I would say yes but I don't want to hurt you and I don't trust myself." Of course, I asked what he meant. He then replied along the lines that he didn't trust himself to saying he likes a girl only to be played with. (This has happened twice before and I knew about both times which angered me because I care about him) This topic came up a few times later on. I explained to him that he knew how I felt so however he wanted to take things was okay with me and that he didn't have to worry about hurting me because I'd always be there for him - and I meant it with all my heart. This was the last actual conversation he and I had. I've tried starting conversations with him after that and he always ended up saying he had to go. What do I do? Is he messing with me? Why would he be blowing me off so much? Please get back to me because I don't want to spend the rest of our friendship as a 'what if'.


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What Guys Said 1

  • You gave him opportunity after opportunity to date you. Shortly after the first time you made him aware of your feelings, he avoided interactions with you at school. Yet, he frequently texted you after and did little, if anything, to date you.

    Now, after you've expressed a willingness to accommodate him to date him, he's dismissive and avoidant.

    His actions speak loud and clear, which I interpret as a lack of willingness to take the next step with you, for whatever reason.

    Why? Why? Why is he avoiding you? That, I do not know. The reasons could be one or many. For example, he doesn't want to discuss things at the moment and, or in public. He is unsure of what to say to you, etc.

    "What do I do?" Don't force the conversation on him. And if you choose to speak to him, act normal; devoid of negative emotion, to avoid awkwardness. Go about your day-to-day as you normally would.

    Eventually, perhaps soon, he'll feel comfortable enough to discuss things. Otherwise, he's not the friend you believe him to be.


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