Guys, Is he a cheater, psychopath, or something else?

The highlights: dating 7 months, started off as a whirlwind romance, he's charismatic, intelligent, sexual, popular. We clicked right away. We met online.

The issues: started slowly and are now at a head. If we argue he threatens to cheat, calls me names like whore, accuses me of cheating. He has double standards; I cannot even interact with men (no matter how appropriate), but he flirts and publicly interacts with women innapropriate ways. I've seen it online. I've asked him to stop, and found out that he did not stop. I've found women's jewelry in his room on two occasions with no real explanation. On on several occasions rumors have reached me that he has sex on the side. All but one was debunked. Now he does not want me to interact with any of his friends, male or female.

I've dumped him at least four times. He somehow charms his way back in. I've never looked through his phone or computer. I've been faithful and make sure that I don't do anything inappropriate.

He he says I'm controlling and insecure and ruining the relationship. He says he cannot trust me. He says I must be cheating. I will say that recently I have accused him of cheating, armed with evidence, and have made it clear I do not trust him anymore.

His is temperment swings wildly from a wild sex crazed man (I'll f**ck whoever I want) to that of a child and back again.

Leaving him him has become increasingly difficult, literally. Ghosting is out of the question. He finds a way to break no-contact. He shows up if he can't get through. He called the police on me when I returned his key.

What the hell am I dealing with here?


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What Guys Said 3

  • This is a very tough situation you are in and seems like this guy won't leave you alone.

  • That seems like a lot of rumors which are being debunked. Who's responsible for those?

    In any event, emotional abuse is abuse and the why doesn't matter

    • Well the area in which we live is one of those places where gossip is... a hobby for many. Some rumors were easily debunked by the facts. One was not.

      Do you think this behavior is sbusive?

    • Show All
    • NPD is Narcissistic Personality Disorder. If you use google, you'll find some sites which can help you identify the traits.

    • I know what npd is. It wasn't in my opinion that staging events to garner a reaction was part of that. Or even part in parcel with anise to be honest.

      His behavior is perplexing.

      In any case the no contact technique used for npds isn't working as he clearly finds ways around it. That said each time this has happened I have stepped back considerably - not allowing my attachments to reform. But I'm cautious because I'm not sure what he is capable of.

  • Classic player, or "bad boy". He uses you for sex, treats you like shit, by your own admissions, open about wanting to be with others, why are you with him? Dump his lying, cheatin, abusing ass and find a guy who likes, respects, and actually wants a real relationship with you.

    • If you read till the end you'll note that I'm having trouble getting away. What would be your solution to that?

    • Yes he charms his way back in, or just shows up. Don't let him back into your life. Stop believing his bullshit. If he shows up uninvited call the cops. Have a friend support you in all this.