After how many messages does it get annoying to a girl?

Hi all,

Was seeing a girl who told me sge liked me and was always messaging me and was happy. Said to hang out after exams and had invited me to things over Christmas and Nye. All of a sudden she said she just doesn't feel like talking in late Sept. She said however that I seriously didn't do anything. I tried to contact her every now and again untill Jan. Asked her if she was ok, if we are still seeing each other, merry Christmas etc. In total I probably sent about 15 messages or so. We are really good friends and have been seeing each other for a while with no problems. I have told her in the last message to contact when ready and will wait til March at least before trying again.

She told me she appreciates me, cares for me, likes hanging out and enjoys my company yet still hasn't said anything to ne despite telling me she want to be open and honest.

Is it too many messages for her to deal with? What should I do now? Also if she said that I seriously did nothing wrong 2 times why would you ignore me for so long? Does this indicate that she doesn't want to be friends or that she has too intense feelings for me?

I'm just trying to understand why you would not message. Even if you want to be alone or not social. Am I reading too much into this?

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What Girls Said 1

  • Honestly... I get bothered after 2 messages... But that's because of my past I guess so I'm not sure if it's normal? Because you are waiting for her are you missing out or passing up other opportunities? She doesn't sound interested but that's just my opinion from reading this. Try backing off... Like a rubber band maybe she will snap back? Or maybe talk to other girls. She may become jealous and see what a catch you are. If not, on the bright side you got to meet other girls and maybe will begin to fall for one of them instead.

    • Hi, thanks for the reply. I just find it weird that we were best friends and she said she felt like we were in a relationship without the label which I was glad to hear. Then all of a sudden just stopped talking but told me I seriously didn't do anything.

      Would this indicate that she still likes me but is unsure about a relationship? Would she still want to be friends? Should I just let her come back if/when she is ready?

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    • So I asked her on a date and we had 3/4 datws and she said she really liked me and us and where it was going, but then said didn't feel like talking.

      I'm confused now because she didn't reply to anything post that. Is it normal to do this and not talk to me (even as a friend) for 2months?

      Like I just want to know what's going on and if we are still seeing each other. Should I just wait for a reply before I ask her about us?

    • Hey, I just messaged her again saying I hope travels are going well, I'm still giving you your space but know I'm here if you need me Now this message has been seen but no reply.

      Is it too much to send that? Does this indicate that she is angry or doesn't like me/want to talk?

What Guys Said 2

  • You need to forget her. She doesn't like you. She most likely moved on. I know this isn't something that you want to hear.

    People are driven by emotionso. If she had intense feelings for you, she would reply right away (like what you would do). You probably didn't do anything wrong at all, she just doesn't have feelings for you anymore. Were you guys doing long distance? If she invited you to Christmas before Sept, and then changed her mind. She most likely met someone else. You will only keep annoying her to continue messaging her. Move on man.

    • Not long distance. We were really good friends and she said she wanted to be 100% honest and then just hasn't even said anything.
      I'm wanting to still at least be friends but she hasn't even replied to messages from me asking what's going on/what we are?
      What should I do from here? Just let her be and if she decides to talk then deal with it then?

    • Pretty much. You should try to see other girls and move on. The more you push, the more she will not want to reply. The key with girls is to give them just enough attention. This is achieved by giving them space to miss you. But I think you are at the point where nothing you can do would change her mind.. She already decided that you aren't worth the trouble to the point of being friends. Otherwise she would say something at least. Sorry man. I have been there.

    • Thanks, I guess that's true. Your advice has been helpful so I guess I shall move on. If she wants anything to do with me then she has to initiate that and I will deal with that problem if/when it arises. Thanks again

  • I was you a few years ago. Move on and better your life. Soon girls will come to you and you will realize that you have been chasing someone with a shit personality. Also going forward I try to avoid double texting let alone Tripple texting. Girls are animals just like us and typically want what they can't have/ or something that they need to work for.

    • Thanks for the reply. One question - if this girl was a really good friend beforeand and said that she trusts me would there be a reason to completely cut contact?
      Should I still try to find the reason she isn't speaking and try and keep the friendship?

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    • Its not so much a relationship issue but as to why I have lost a good friend without an explanation, I don't care about a relationship but I would still like to be friends. And it is annoying not hearing from a good friend at all. Sorry again for asking.

    • considering she ignored you 16 times she might not have thought of you as a great friend. She's dead or wants nothing to do with you. I'm sorry but how much more obvious can she make it? Same question. What non physical traits made you want to be friends with her in the first place?