Should I continue to pursue her? Am I in the friendzone?

I have this female coworker. I didn't have feeling for her, but as I know her more, I'm falling in love with her. Was not sure, just let the feeling flow, hope it would be gone, but it's just growing stronger.

1) No flirting, she was just asking why I didn't get a girlfriend, then compliment me for being smart, kind, etc.

2) We talked to each other and it was getting very personal, only when there were just two of us. She often texts me first and became more flirty with me with a lot of winky and cute emoticons and cute texts. We rarely speaks to each other at the office, because other coworkers always tease us for being compatible.

3) Suddenly she become 'the old her', no flirty & cute texts. Even she rarely stares at my eyes when we are talking, with unhappy face.

4) Once, I told her a joke, I noticed that she was trying to touch my arm, but she draw her hand back before it touch my arm, then she repeated it again (She will touch on the arm when someone tell her a joke, she's flirty). It was just like she was not sure whether to hit my arm or not.

5) I also noticed she use the song I'd ever sent to her when she was sick, as her phone ringtone.

6) I asked her to hang out (she doesn't always accept). We spent 4 hours talking & had a lot of fun. After she get home, she immediately texted me just to say that she was sorry, she was not a good friend to leave before I did (I wait her until she get a taxi), and also that I should forget all her childhood secrets she told me that night because she was embarassed. Then, she became 'the old her' again.

7) Again, she sent me flirty email with cute text when she sent me an assignment. On the same day, while leaving the office together, she was friendly, we walk side by side, until she told me about her weird dream the night before, and then I tried to be flirty by saying that I had weird dream too and she was in it. She suddenly quiet, keep distance (not walking behind me), and not staring in my eyes while talking.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Why not just ask her on a date?

    You gave us signs of her bahavior with you but what do we know or even better yet , what does she take from you as signs?

    Did u give her signs that you like her?

    Cuz i know from a distance she looks uninterested but what if she was interested but doesn't want to come off as too much or shows interest for a guy she thinks is not interested in her?

    You didn't even ask her out on a real date !

    Then you say girls are complicated ! Ugh

    • Yeah I think you're right. I didn't give her clear signs.

      I've told her my feeling. She said that she was shocked & confused. She doesn't want to broke our firendship, just like her previous experiences when she dated her friend. She just broke up, and doesn't want in a relationship for a while.

      Whatever she said, I think it was pretty obvious that she did reject me.
      A day after I told her my feeling, she told me that she will not able look me in the eyes when talking to me, she said she was nervous, she was confused.

      But, things are confusing me (again). She posted a song on a social media. The song tells about a girl who can't help but to fall in love when a guy tell her that he loves her, and it makes her heart burst. She said the song she posted was for me. Today she also told me about a place she wants to go, she asked me out. Well, I'm not sure what todo next.

    • Go out with her nd see things through , she is just confused give her time if she worths it

      Any interesting updates?

      Nd thans for the mho 😄

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 1

  • she sounds very complicated, you should move on and maybe she'll get jealous and then you'll really see if she actually wants more with you once she sees that you're not interested in her

    • Just told her my feeling. She got confused, she dosent want to break our friendship & our work envronment. But then, she posted me a song, she asked me out. I dont know how she feels, why she did that, and what I should do next.

What Guys Said 1

  • Sounds like your reaching for something that's not there.

    • So that means she isn't interested, doesn't it?

    • I'm afraid so. It sounds like she likes you as a person and is trying hard not to give you the wrong impression.