What do you think?

Me: 31, divorced, no kids, live in a nice house on 155 acre farm alone. im a bigger guy not bad looking i dont think (6'1" 280lbs) i dont know if thats important or not but this girl is hot! i already told her she was out of my league and she thought that was hilarious. I didn't have the heart to tell her i was being serious lol I guess me being funny is getting me through.

So I met this girl on tinder. We've been talking for about a 3 weeks through text message. We've only talked on the phone once. We have sent pictures back and forth and everything and found each other on facebook so I know she's real and so does she. She lives two hours away, a mother of a 2year old daughter, she can't have anymore kids (so i would have to adopt if things went the distance), she claims to not be able to see at night so we can't go out on dinner dates or anything. The one date we had planned about an hour before we were suppose to meet she cancelled because supposedly her mother fell down a set of steps. The second time we were suppose to talk on the phone she had phone trouble. she's a really nice girl and makes me happy when we text but im having a hard time even trying to meet her or move forward in some kinda way and the not driving at night thing has be all screwed up on trying to plan a date. who meets for lunch until the time you start staying over? am i right?

OH! She told me she loved me one time when she was drunk.. Is that a red flag or do girls just do that sometimes? I asked her about it a few days later and she said she "doesnt feel completely that way but its getting there."

Am setting myself up for failer? its tough to decide because i really like her... so far

Any opinions are welcomed. thanks


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  • I'm always paranoid of these internet dating things especially when you run across a story like this, since there's nothing to reassure you that they are who they claim they are, their pictures are actually themselves, etc. -- until you two meet.

    But you did at least get to talk to her on the phone once, so maybe that's a plus.

    I'm kind of worried about these weird reasons not to meet. Mother falling down the stairs is understandable. Night vision so bad that you can't take her out to dinner seems pretty odd. Phone trouble the second time...

    I'd kind of look for additional reasons, especially since I imagine the farm comes with a solitary lifestyle and it might be difficult to network and meet lots of people for it.

    That said, I really hope she is who she says she is, and that you found someone really nice. I'd just kind of keep an eye on more and more excuses not to meet.

    • Yea the reasons not to meet are kind of adding up. It has me leery on if she ever does want to meet. you're right about the farm. it does have its draw backs but I am not so far out of town that i can't go out. I'm just not looking to pick a girl up in a bar so my options are limited. I thought maybe the not driving at night thing might have been a safety precaution at first but I literally have never dated someone I couldn't take to dinner or the movies.

    • For our kind of age (30s), I think it really helps if you go the roundabout way -- those friends of friends of friends, networking. If you have any male friends, meet their friends, maybe make some female friends, and if there's no spark there, meet their friends, and so on -- never refuse an invite to an event like a wedding (actually pretty good place to pick up women -- something about seeing a wedding can make some women really want a man), things of this sort.

    • Thanks for the advice! I'm going to do that.

  • I think you need to date more before you get too serious with her. You sound like a hard working decent guy, and you should have some kids.

    • yea im defiantly not going to commit to anything before i know the 2hour distance between us will work. But I should keep talking to her? It doesn't hurt right?

    • Actually, if she's not right for you, it hurts you both. It wastes her time, and it diverts your time and attention. Don't rule children out of your life. You will regret it.

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