Girlfriend of 5 months kissed boyfriend a month ago - now wants me to meet him?

We've been dating for 5 months and have had one of the healthier relationships I've seen

I'm making her happy for the first time in a while (so she claims,) we discuss all our problems, we dont fight (or yell at least,) resolve everything, and focus on mutual growth as well as happiness

Before she moved here for college tho, she lived a few hours away, and she dated her first boyfriend

She went back over break, 3-4 months into our relationship, and kissed him. I visited her and she told me right away, didn't deny any blame, in fact was honest enough to say she went for him (they were drunk and she wanted it out of her system, says it is)

Now her friend whos also from her hometown is inviting her ex up here. Her ex was part of their friend group before they went out.

She says she wants me to meet him but I'm fairly sure she either said or implied that she was going to hang out with them anyways.

This is also 2 days after talking to me about the possiblity of a 3 way when we were talking about fufilling eachothers desires... she wants to be with 2 guys, I'm confortable with a lot, but thats really hard for me to wanna do

But what do you think about hanging out with her ex? We dont usually do any PDA and I dont wanna start to show dominance or some bullshit, but what can I do if he makes a move on her? I wouldn't be opposed to hitting him once, moreso if that counts as "defense" in a legal way

and could this 3-way thing (not planned, if its the situation - her) be foreshadowing something here? cuz Im not comfortable with a 3-way in general, especially not sharing her with her ex that she kissed a month ago.

I'll also talk to her later but I need to think for now so I thought Id ask here for the first time since we got together


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What Girls Said 2

  • Well, if she loves and respects you, she should understand you're uncomfortable with the ex situation. Just tell her the truth:

    "Hey, i don't want the 3-way especially with your ex or another dude. It's uncomfortable and I think it's crap that you're just going to hang out with him anyways. Ex's are ex's for a reason. If you're going to be with me, I would like each others' wishes and boundaries respected. I don't care if you have male friends, I just don't feel comfortable around him. I don't want him making a move on you. "

    If she laughs it off and goes anyway, leave. It would seem that something is up. But, try to be cool headed about all of this.

    • well the 3-way and the ex are a false connection im drawing before any info

      but yeah I already told her the rest of that

    • Okie-dokie. Just try to maintain the limits with her and if she oversteps them and you feel angry about it and your gut tells you to leave, do it. Your instincts are usually right. Good luck.

  • Okay so you have every right to jealous and its good that you dont want to be an asshole about it. I would act normal when you are all together but if he makes any comment about her and move set him straight. If everyone acts civilized then you be able to be adults and move pass this. And she must be high if she thinks you would have a threesome with you and her ex. I don't get jealous easily but lol she thought.

    • I don't know if thats what she thought but we had the conversations within 2 days, maybe one of eachother so I can't help but draw a connection

      I told her "personally Id only see fun in a 2 girl 1 guy threesome but since I dont really like the idea of 2 guys I would never even think to ask" and she seemed kinda disappointed and said "theres no fun unless there are two guys" except less up-front.

      I just really hate the idea of sharing her or being with someone else in front of her, I wanna keep stuff between us

      I told her it would spark jealously, nervousness in the situation, and that I would just be scared I would "under compete" especially considering I couldnt get hard for her for the first two weeks and really had to get to know her before I could

      and the idea of two guys going at a girl just kinda... seems gross to me

      on top of that she knows she's my "real" first, and before her I only kinda fucked one girl. Earlier I would never cum when we fucked but recently I'm becoming more open

    • and I'm starting to get close to busting before she cums, so I want to also get over that and be "good" in bed before I'm doing shit with another guy, who I'm also afraid might take "dominance" in the situation and that would really fuck with me, I've told her most of this, the rest I just realized now

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