My boyfriend and I have been dating almost one year. He's great, he's everything I could ask for in someone (sweet, gentleman, handsome, laid back, dedicated-I could go on and on).
However, since I am his first serious relationship, he doesn't always get my feelings or realize things he does sometimes hurts me.
For example, he's in the military and there was a ball coming up. He first invited me to it and then said later he couldn't go due to a school (for the military). I was bummed but I was ok and we made plans to do something else after his school anyways.
Then the day of the ball his boss and other guys said they were getting off early so everyone could go and that he needed to go even without a ticket. He told me he was going only for a short time then was going to meet me and we would go somewhere else together-again I was fine with this as well.
Then later he never came to meet me (we happened to be at the same hotel) after and he went back with his friend and went to dinner with his friend. That's when I got upset because he kept pushing it off and seemed like he didn't want to see me. I also ran into his friends and their gfs dressed up who asked if I was going and I said no then they saw my boyfriend there by himself so I was slightly embarrassed.
We called and talked and worked everything out and he said he didn't mean anything and he never meant to hurt me.
Also we only see each other once a week (live 1 hour away from each other) talk once a week and he's about to leave in a month for 9 months (deploying) where we won't see each other at all and barely can talk. So I also got upset that it seems like he doesn't want to see me yet we don't see each other that often.
Am I just overreacting? What do I do and how should I think?
Most Helpful Girl
I don't think you are overreacting but maybe overthinking. I completely understand your position and why you should get upset but I think you need to try and think about things in his point of view. That can also be understandable. I'm gonna make a dumb metaphor but oh well here it goes. Sometimes my mum asks me to do something as soon as possible and I say okay, but to myself i just say that I'm going to respond a message on facebook and then do it. I am speaking the truth because that is honestly what I plan to do. However, its not what happens. I get distraced and stay on facebook for a while and then my mum gets angry and disapointed. Did i try to hut her on purpose? No. Did i mean to stay on facebook for longer? No. Did I lie when i said I was seconds away from doing it? You know where I'm going with this. Sometimes it can be difficult to understand a person. But it is always extremesly important to remember that the two most needed and completely necessary things to have in a relationship is COMMUNICATION and PATIENCE.
When you go into a relationship, you can't expect it to be perfect because IT won't. I dont know anyone who has a perfect relationship. So I think you might be overreacing to the story about the party because if that is one of the biggest problems you have in your relatiolnship; then that is the kind of relashionship I want.
I've been talking for a while now and I'm not ure if im just blabbing on or if this is actually helpful :') But to try to be as specific as I can,
1) Am I just overreacting?
I guess not too much; but you should persevere with the nine month thing since you have been with him for a year already. I'm not in the best place to say since i dont actually know you but you should really evaluate if he's worth waiting for.
2) What do I do?
You should as I said before be patient and try to be more open minded if you really love this guy.
3) How should I think?
Positively. As much as it is easier to say than it is to do, don't stress. Stress doesn't actually do you any favors! Another example, recently, and by recently i mean like a month or two, i lost my phone. Well, someone stole it but thats not the point. So, I have been phoneless for practically two months and my instant attitude as soon as i lost my phone was lets. no. stress. Becuase stressing, won't find my phone. Stressing won't solve any problems. The only think it will do for you is give you gray hair and mae you feel down. So, just try ur best to be positive!2