I overthink everything but would that make you feel insecure?
If someone openly told you that to start with, they didn't really think you were their type and weren't attracted to you, but now after spending more time together want a relationship with you.
Most Helpful Guy
- dangerDogeGuru mho 42%
I feel like a relationship would be bad idea if she still found you unattractive. Someone who can overlook any physical flaw (aka someone who only cares about personality) is one thing, but it is a problem if the person does care about looks yet imagines your personality will make up for it.
Here's why:
-- As a person with a partner who doesn't find you attractive, you might start feeling like you need to compensate. Rather, you may be thinking that you aren't good enough.
-- Many people in this situation would be most likely paranoid that the SO would be going for someone else as well... Like being worried that she seeks fulfillment for your own flaws.
-- It could lead to a person feel like they are being settled upon. I imagine that is kind of an awful feeling.11|00|0- Show AllShow Less
- dangerDogeGuru
I guess a guy told you this? Wow, rude. You look fine-- don't worry about what he says. :)
Although I know that it once doubt starts to spread, it is incredibly difficult to get rid of the doubt with any amount of complimenting words.
If he told you, "you aren't my type and I'm not really attracted to you," I would stick as friends personally. Doubt like that is very hard to get away and could lead to the things above.
However, if he didn't say that and this is simply imagination, you still have a chance for sure. Often times, people play tricks on themselves and tell that they aren't good enough. The reality may not be the same as what one is thinking though. - daintydollface5 Xper
It was a 20 questions kind of thing - one of the questions was what your first impression was of eachother and he said that I wasn't his type and he'd not been attracted to me kinda thing but not to take it the wrong way. That's why I don't know if I am overthinking it, because I always do, but I can't get it out my head anytime I spend time with him to be honest! If someone didn't think you were attractive then that's not going to change and I'd feel embarrassed for them being with me, I dunno!
- dangerDogeGuru
To clarify on your current status with him:
Are you two dating but not in an official relationship yet? Or are you just friends who hang out with each other because you get along well? - daintydollface5 Xper
I didn't think it was dates after that comment but he said something since that would make me think otherwise... sorry, I'm useless.
- dangerDogeGuru
It is alright. I'm here to help you (or at least try to help), don't feel bad. You aren't useless!
In any case, here's my advice:
If you don't think you'll be able to get rid of the feelings of doubt in your head but still want to try dating him, I would confront directly. Just ask him if he finds you attractive and just explain why if he asks. Confronting may seem a bit awkward if not risky, but I think this is the only way to get rid of the doubt. Otherwise the doubt will ruin any moment with him from here on out.
If he says no again or if you simply don't want to confront him, I would personally move on. Being feeling like you are settled will only drag the relationship down if happened to start. (The reasons in my original answer). - daintydollface5 Xper
Thank you :) I move away quite soon anyway so I don't know what's going to happen regardless. Just confusing because he's making comments about me not going and he wants to keep trying to see eachother. But could be the whole settling thing I suppose...
Most Helpful Girl
- RJGraveyTrainInfluencer
That'd be a solid no.
If someone initially tells me I'm not their type and not attractive to them then they are not the kind of person I want to be with. I would immediately fall under the impression that they are relying on me as either a last resort or if they like my personality alone, which is nice and all, but if I felt physically unattractive to my partner that would detrimentally damage our intimate relationship.
If they don't see my value or see me as physically attractive from the very beginning then they need to accept that this completely removes the possibility of us ever being together.00|00|0
Thank you... he's a really great guy and our humour is exactly the same so it's always really comfortable talking to him, but I just don't feel good enough and it's stuck in the back of my head.