I think I'm more emotionally invested than he is and I don't want to get hurt. How do I love him less without ruining our relationship?

So I met this fellow, let's call him Fred. We met on Tinder and we've been talking every day since for about 6 months now, despite our being hundreds of miles apart. We started off with no intentions of being anything more than friends, but slowly it grew into more. He was the first to say 'I love you', although I think I might have realized I felt that way sooner. When I think about it, he's been the first to say a lot of the important things. I feel very, very strongly about him and when I tell him that I love him, I mean it from the bottom of my heart.

I've tried very hard to avoid being clingy and obsessive, because I know and I think I've succeeded fairly well, but lately things just feel off. He's hinted at the fact that he thinks I'm more invested than he is, and I think he might be right. He doesn't seem to put as much effort in as he did before, but it's not that it's completely died away either. Don't get me wrong, I understand that he's busy and can't talk as much, but I feel like he's not quite as involved or interested as he used to be.

I've been thinking about it, and I don't know how to love him less. I mean, how do you become LESS emotionally invested in a person without losing all of your affection completely? I know I can't make him love me more, and I know that being clingy will drive him as far away from me as possible. I don't want to lose him. He's the most amazing guy I've ever met, and I'm scared.


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  • You really can't love him less. The only thing you can do is maybe distance yourself just a tiny bit so you're not ALWAYS available to talk. I don't mean fake being busy, i mean actually do something to take your focus off him for that time. Occupy your mind with other things so you're less clingy and obsessed. Maybe that will bring things back to a balance until he is on your level.