Now what do I want?

This guy who is a couple years older than me, (I'm 16) and I have known each other for about 2 years now and we became really close and over the past 6 months. We have bonded heaps, always texting and 'flirting' but have never sent kisses or hearts or anything over text (until a couple of x's recently to say goodnight) which I like because it makes our connection genuine and not a teenage relationship if you know what I mean! We've basically been flirting without any over the top indication of interest. But we see each other 2-3 times a week through work etc. Recently everyone we mutually know always say to us seperately how its obvious we like each other, but we have never spoken to each other about that, we just ignore it even though when we're together people smile/laugh to make us embarrassed. I have never been in a proper relationship before but I know that I initially liked this guy so much! He still makes me smile and laugh and I want to be around him, but now I have noticed that he likes me back. Keep in mind we've NEVER spoken about 'us' being together.. its just obvious by what he does and what people have been telling me.

The problem is, the more I think he likes me the more scared I am to make things serious. My family loves him and have known him for ages, but I feel like I'd be scared to meet his family :( And I'm worried it'll make things awkward at work and I also have no idea how I would manange a relationship seeing as though I'm in my 2nd final year of high school! He is naturally a flirtatious person, but he isn't very affectionate unless you know him (we always hug hi/goodbye, but have never kissed). We are both outgoing and make everyone laugh and is lovely to me, so instinctively we go well together (and we've never argued cause we have heaps in common).
I just feel too scared to allow things to go further and I need advice, because at the moment I just want things to stay the way they are: together, but not actually together. What do I do?


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What Guys Said 2

  • I've never seen much good come out of "just staying friends" when one feels strongly about another. Resisting on the grounds that you want to "keep a friend" is not a good reason to me, as your friend might be miserable, watching you get boyfriends, moving on with your life

    You end up keeping this passive observer, unless he can move on and find a girl of his own.

    So I really think you should put aside your features and go for it. I really believe in the "don't shit where you eat philosophy", and it's awkward because you two go to the same workplace. But in this case, I don't think you can help it, as you've built up this guy who, if you're right, already has feelings for you.

    You don't have to bed him and marry him right away. You can spend time with him and kind of explore how you feel about each other, in more private and intimate moments.

    • put aside your features [/fears]

    • Show All
    • You both get to set the pace, even when going on dates. It can be fun and light, you guys don't have to move quickly.

    • I appreciate your reassurance, that's exactly what I hope would happen! Plus he's a great guy and we've gone out before and he keeps it comfortable anyway so I guess you're right :)

  • Ask yourself, from which do you gain the most:

    1) Letting things go on as they are - mildly awkward and grey;

    2) Or take a step forward and become official?

    • Thank you! when you put it that way it seems obvious what would be better :p

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