Should I reach out to her one more time, or let it go?

I really like this girl - we've gone out on 3 dates. She doesn't usually like to converse too much over text so I generally initiate that with her about 90% of the time.

The first 2 dates I thought went really well, but the last one honestly felt like a pity date. I actually didn't expect her to agree to a third date to begin with.

What happened was I asked her out for a third date but the day I suggested she said she had plans. She then immediately suggested another day instead. I said I had plans, and then she suggested next week. Monday of the next week came around and she did text me asking if I was free on Thursday which I was. She then suggested something for us to go do and the third date was set.

From the moment I saw her though she seemed like she just did not want to be there. I'm not sure if she was shy or what, but I felt like it was a pity date. The strange thing is though, she didn't make an excuse to leave early - she kept asking 'what should we do now?' and the date lasted over 3 hours. To be fair I was so self conscious the entire date I probably didn't make it all that fun for her either... At the end she gave me a big hug and said she returns from her trip next Friday (1 week) and after that if I want to get together again we can. So by now I was extremely confused.

The next day, right before she left on her trip I sent her a text thanking her for the evening we had, telling her I had a good time and wishing her a great time on her trip. She never responded to this. In fact I haven't heard from her since. She was back from it on Friday (2 days ago) and I still haven't heard anything.

We met on a dating site at the beginning of December - I've had nothing but mixed signals the whole time. On Saturday I noticed she logged on and viewed my profile again (but she might have clicked it by accident). I can't stop thinking about her now.

Should I try and talk to her again even though I sent the last message last week? I want to try texting her one more time, but I'm going to be extremely embarassed if this whole time she's been trying to give me signs not to bother her anymore. I also don't want to not try just in case she thought I was the one who lost interest on this date.


Most Helpful Guy

  • when she countered for a 3rd date to the dismay of you having plans is like saying:

    "your plans are more important than me"

    while it can be argued its' too early to break prior engagements balh blah blah... internally, that's how she feels. but being a polite respect woman she mutually agrees to a date further down the line.(the flame continues to dim the more time apart)


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  • I am sure she's just shy but leave her, not enough responce to actually reach to a conclusion.