Guys, what is your first dating advice? How do you approach or talk to guys and how do you find your soulmate?

Hi I'm a 23 year old girl now and I've never dated or had any kind of sexual relationship with anyone in my life. I think it's because I'm religious and I study a lot. I don't get guys asking me out. I also am always alone because I'm either scared of breaking my heart after loving someone or breaking someone else's heart because I can't love them back. Throughout college I've been looking for the right time to date and fall in love and honestly I feel like I'm so inexperienced in this context that I never know what to do when I feel like I should be talking to "that" guy. I know intuitively when I feel a connection to someone who is the opposite sex and I feel like I could talk to him and start a conversation. But when a guy approaches me I end up turning a a cold face. I'm super shy and college has hardened my life (I argue in a good way though). I don't always mean this in my heart but I end up scaring a guy away or leaving a bad impression on them. How do I appear more friendly and approachable? How do I appear more flirty and friendly? I honestly don't think guys will ask me out straight to my face if I don't be more outgoing. I don't want to try too hard. But I don't want to be anti-social. I'm not sure if this helps but I am smart, talkative, average looking, thin, tall with good skin and dark hair/brown eyes. I can be friendly but not around guys. My mother always tells me when a guy knows you're 'the one' they'll approach you no matter what you are like. My mom is also conservative and very nice person. I believe what she says and I'm still waiting for that to happen. Is this true guys? Should I just keep being alone? I'm 23 and I feel like I'm getting old. When I meet a guy I definitely want to marry. What happens when it's "that moment" when I should talk to "that friendly guy" and then I get too scared by the guy that I miss 'the one'? If my question still sounds all over the place, what are some other wise advice regarding finding your soulmate?


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What Guys Said 1

  • First there is no "right" time to fall in love it kind of just happens. Also heart break is just a part of dating and is bound to happen at some point unless you get really lucky the first time. To appear more open it as about being open to conversation and occasionally starting one with some guy you feel that connection with. Guys will most likely not just approach you no matter what. There are usually signs or points of conversation that will allow a guy to know if you are interested in him or not. A lot of guys are not willing to take the risk unless they know there will be a good chance of it lasting. Maybe try being more friendly around guys? That might help.
    You most likely will not meet "the guy" or the marrying type right away. Relationships involve two people and it is about how those two work together to benefit each other and help them grow individually. Relationships are tricky and will not always end in the most desirable way, but that is how you learn what you want and do not want in a relationship. There is much more and I could go on for a while so if there is something more specific I can help if you want to ask or pm me :)

    • Thank you for your kind advice! I'll see if I can pick up signs of interest and be more friendly around guys. I'll ask some more questions if I have any. :)

    • You are welcome :)