Should I be worried about my boyfriends coworker?

My boyfriend has this new coworker who he talks about a lot. To the point where I had to ask what was up with her.
He claims there is absolutely nothing going on between them, however it still makes me extremely uncomfortable. For one she just broke up with her cheating boyfriend. They've gone out together for lunch and coffee breaks together. They've hung out together outside of work which kills me inside. He says, "I'm trying to interact more with my coworkers", "We don't plan to hang out, usually we're both just free at the same time". Then he says of course "You have nothing to worry about, I want you to trust me and know that I love you and just want to be with you".
Of course I still worry, they text a lot too. He also suggested we all hang out so I could meet her -- but I don't really know if that would change my mind. He seems so persistent in keeping his friendship with her. I asked him if he wouldn't like hang out alone with her until I met her -- which I think he agreed upon.

How do you actually feel about your partner hanging out with the opposite gender?
Am I over reacting?
How do I not let this drive me crazy?


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What Girls Said 1

  • When people talk about co workers I assume they spend a minimum of 40hours a week together. Plus if you just work all the time the only people you have to talk to are co workers. So of course he talks about her a lot.

    I do believe you are over reacting. If he was going to cheat on you he wouldn't tell you about her he wouldn't say he was spending time with her. He wouldn't want you to meet her. He's going to have female friends. I'm a firm believer that if you can't trust you're partner your relationship is dead.

    I had an ex that lived with 5 women 2hours away from me. For 2 years I was fine with it. Never once did I think twice about it he loved me. But year number 3 I started to get uncomfortable with it. He never cheated never even thought about it but something else was wrong so the trust died.

    Meet her you might actually like her. You guys could end up being friends.

    • Ironically I've never been cheated on, but the fear of being cheated on is so great that I find myself constantly being worried about it.

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    • You need to meet her. You can't keep your boyfriend away from other girls it's damaging to your relationship. There is nothing wrong with him having female friends. May be meeting her will help ease how you feel. But honestly open communication is all you can do. Don't get mad about it just have an open conversation about how you feel. Don't try and keep him away from other girls cause that won't make him happy. Tell him that you don't want to keep him away fromm anyone and you're trying to be ok with it but it's hard for you. Maybe together you can come up with a way that you will be comfortable and both be happy.

    • I suppose for now I'll just take the whole "we didn't fight over it" as a good sign. I agree, if he was actually doing something he would have acted differently.

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