Girls, Why do I want to wait?

Things were good until I asked her what we were. She said, "I guess we're dating". Then I asked if we were exclusive. She replied, "I really like you, but I got out of a bad relationship and I'm not ready to jump into another. If I'm in a relationship, then I'm serious about it ". And I believed her but, I was devastated and decided I wasn't going to contact her again. A week later, I caved and texted her. She replied, "Wow. I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again because of what I said ". At that moment, I was already willing to wait for her. We started talking and going out again. I know there's a connection between us and we laugh about stupid shit every time we're together. Then she started getting hot and cold. When I asked her about it, she said. "I'm sorry- I know I've been on and off lately. I have a lot on my mind and I feel guilty when we hang out". "Why"?, I asked. "I really like you, but I'm just not there yet". I guess it must be really obvious that I like her. So again, I was crushed inside and again, decided I wasn't going to contact her. Two weeks later, I caved and texted her to see if she wanted to get dinner. We went out and it seemed like she was starting to get over her past. So we started talking and hanging out again. Now, i feel like she's not entirely there. Eventually, I couldn't resist and asked her if she even liked me. She kind of got teary eyed (I FELT LIKE THE BIGGEST PIECE OF SHIT IN THE WORLD) and told me, "OMG, YES. I'm just not ready yet and I don't know when I will be". I asked, "Are you dating other guys"? She said, "I'm talking to other people but it's not serious". I mean, we're not together but still, the idea of another guy in the picture hurts. I want to wait but I know it's not fair to myself. I just want to be see her again and be able to laugh at stupid shit together. Should I wait? Move on? My head hurts. My heart hurts.



  • Wait, date around
    Vote A
  • Move on
    Vote B
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What Girls Said 1

  • First of all, even if you do move on, know and understand that it's going to take time to get over her. You can't just date a girl and then stop thinking of her completely. Sure, thoughts of her will fade over time, but you'll still think of her because it's only natural. You have to realize that this is probably a difficult situation for her too. She's probably struggling with internal feelings of guilt and confusion because she really likes you but can't seem to get over her past relationship yet. My personal advice is that, if you really care about her, you should wait for her and see if she comes around in a few weeks. If you've already put this much effort into her, I don't see why you can't keep trying a little longer. If worse comes to worse and she still can't move on, then yes, I would suggest breaking it off.

    • Thanks for your input. The worst thing is that there's a part of me that's telling me to just hang on... even if it means only seeing her once a week and "trying" to date others.

    • Yeah, that's the part of you that deeply cares about her and is trying to hold on to whatever is left between you two. Like I said, just give her some more time and if she doesn't come around, maybe it's for the best if you separate.

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