Decided to give up on relationships; is there a point to being in a relationship?

Okay, I am in my late 30's, never been married, I have no kids. Been in a few relationships, but nothing worth a snuff.

I'm thinking it is too late for a few factors:

•I'm in my late 30's, and at this point, it makes no sense to me to be involved.
•Most women my age have children, and with children comes drama.
•I refuse to date a younger woman, because I think it is perverse.
•Dating without the potential for marriage is pointless to me.
•Marriage without the potential to start a family, is pointless to me.
•I refuse to raise children in my 50's and 60's, because I plan to retire by 62.

What point is there to be in a relationship?

I asked this because I am at a point that I say it is pointless, because if we were to marry, and have a child, I would have to retire much later than I intended.

Second guessing a situation I am in. Stopped dating 4 years ago. NOW someone that fits my fancy comes around. However, I am hesitant, because she wants kids... with me. I want marriage first. She agrees. But I see no point in working until I am dead, without enjoying retirement.

I'll just go through with it, even though...
I made my decision. Not going through with it.

Decided that the only way to build an ivory tower, is to kill elephants...

I'll just pass it off to my nephew (half sister's son).


Most Helpful Girl

  • For you nothing. Don't do it.

    -What's the point in ever getting involved
    -Plenty without kids. Life comes with drama not kids
    --That's you're opinion
    -Then don't date someone you wouldn't marry
    -Family doesn't mean children.
    -Then don't have kids.

    • I am a traditionalist.

      Family only means man, woman, and children. Anything else, beyond that are relatives. Anything less than that, is just two narcissistic people that got together for their own selfishness. So, that don't fly with me.

      Doing things without a goal, is just wasting your time. People waste their time, all the time. I refuse to waste my time. Time is critical. More valuable than any commodity on the planet.

    • Show All
    • You had to of chose it.

    • @CrazynKinky It's completely automatically selected regardless, and this guy claims he's an engineer of some sort, I figure he would have and should have understood by now it's something neither you, me or the Asker has any actual Control over. This website's settings are configured that way, and the website administrator designed and developed it that way. If you look into it, you'l realize that I am telling you the truth. I've been trying to get him to understand the concept that there is very little to no control that everyone can have over every single thing or person in this world and reality, and trying to be frank that the world does not revolve entirely around just one person, such as the Asker himself.

Most Helpful Guy

  • I think you should feel proud!

    See, I knew I ain't the only one that had given up once I realized it just is very impossible with my current situation. Similarly I'm actually in my 30s also, forget what age is actually displayed here.

    But hey, you had already been in a few prior relationships so you've already experienced what it was like whether good or bad.

    If children and family isn't really your end goal then maybe relationships really isn't a priority or necessity. If you can find someone that can provide you good doses of companionship from time to time to hang out, travel, dine out, and try and do fun things here and there then great, but that's about all you really need rather than a traditional long term relationship.

    Similarly, I figured I don't want any children of my own, this world and reality made me think otherwise that if I bring them into here then I guarantee all the bad things they will eventually face and have to go through. All the possibilities pain, suffering, illnesses and diseases, hardships, disappointments, and that completely unavoidable, very dreadful, and undesirable thing called death comes as a huge price by being brought into this reality and existence.

    And since all of these problem just cannot be fixed in anyway or anytime soon I really don't see why I should have any children.

    But by not wanting children will ultimately be a HUGE Deal Breaker in the world of dating and relationships. I suppose you can try and start looking for Childfree Dating and see if you'd find anyone you think you might be able to commit a long term relationship to, if not, then forget about it altogether and put your time, effort, money and energy entirely elsewhere.

    Just focus on prioritizing everything else such as saving for your future retirement and how to retire comfortably instead. You also save the money you would have otherwise spend on engagement rings, wedding rings, the whole wedding ceremony, the honeymoon, etc., etc since then you would have skipped all those things.

    Find something else that you think you would like and become passionate about and that it would give meaning to your life and existence. Find and do something productive and useful. You CAN be Single For Life AND still BE SUCCESSFUL.

    • When you are the last to carry your family name, then return to me at that time, so we truly have an understanding.

      When you are blamed for having your family legacy destroyed, because every woman you have dated seem to have been sub par leeches that had no ambition but to be a leach and you find that to be annoying, return to me, and we can have a meaningful discussion of the matter.

      And according to your profile, you are 18, which also contradicts what you say about your age.

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    • Your answer is as helpful as castration is, to a porn star.

    • Talk to the webmasters and administrator of this website they made it that way. It's automatic, and you have neither you or I have any control over it.

      You still don't get it do you? The world DOES NOT revolve around you and you have very little to Absolutely NO control of pretty much everything that ever occurs in this world and reality or in your life.

      Good luck with finding "love" and "happiness". I can't lie to you about your chances, but, you have my sympathies 😃

Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 5

  • nah. Single life is pretty relaxing as long as your not bitter. (:

  • If you're happy with the way things are in your life, it's fine to keep them that way...

    • That was a pointless answer.

      I'm trying to find out if there is something I am overlooking, on a logical capacity.

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    • That's not logical.

      Not what I am asking.

    • Let me clarify.

      My contentment or discontentment is irrelavent.

      What I have or don't have in my life is irrelevant.

      What is relevant, is the fact that I see no point in it all, if there are women that are available, that do not meet my standards (which aren't at all high, if I can put myself to the same standards and pass... on a scale of 1 to 10, I'm a 6.), and the fact that I am staring down the door of age 40. Meaning, if I had kids at 40, I would be responsible until at least age 58, and due to the fact that I would pay my kids way through college, maybe until 62. Which is counterintuitive to my goal of retirement by age 62.

  • I hear ya!!
    It says you're 36. I think you still have time for marriage/kids. If you met a woman that's 30 or 31, she still has years to have a healthy baby.
    Yeah, dating sucks but I guess ya just gotta keep trying.

  • All this will make no sense when find the right one. You'll look forward to have kids with her, and look like her and tell them things they've never know. The look on their faces is priceless. I think people over rate the idea of having kids and they prefer to stick of having a dog. I am in a relationship but I don't have kids yet. But I can't wait to have some with him.

    • Maybe to someone with no bearing in logic.

      I lead my life by simple logic. If it makes no logical sense, then I don't do it. Finding someone, and being in a relationship makes no logical sense, at my age. The only logic to it, is that I do it if I am a narxissist, and dealing with a narcissist. Otherwise, I see no logical recourse.

  • If your ego needs that reassurance, then you'll seek out a relationship despite your objections. Clearly, you don't need that reassurance so stay single and enjoy your independence.

    No, there is no other point to it.

    • Now we're going somewhere... ego needing reassurance...

      That isn't an issue for me. My ego is based upon what I am capable of doing. I am one of the best at what I do, for my company. I take pride in knowing I am doing my job better than most, and am sticking to be the best.

      However, a woman does not do that for me. Especially now days, when most are carrying baggage (other men's children and the drama associated with that). I mean, it seems like a step backward. Actually it is a step backward. Why do I have to be bothered with her lack of judgment?

      Then I am intolerant of the immaturity of women below age 30.

      The path of the "modern liberated woman" seems to be more of a hindrance to herself, as well as more respectable and responsible men, like myself, that don't have a bunch of bastards all over the place, and not have a mountain of child support arrears.

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    • If they don't want children what is the point of them being in a relationship?

      Answer: Self serving narcissism.

      Marriage was made law in ancient Rome for the specific purpose of legitimacy of heritage and probate.

      The first marriages were religious, opposed to legal, and a childless marriage during these times was often seen as a failure. In fact, many religions offer divorce or annulment if it was attempted several times, and no children born.

      Your social definition of marriage is futile. Learn history, please.

      By the way... Love don't exist, except for egotism and narcissism. People only pair with another person to fulfill their own narcissistic designs, and only the way they utilize the other. For men, it is just sex. Women use sex to acquire things from men.

      That has been the way of humanity for 50,000 years.

    • By the way, facts aren't opinions.

What Guys Said 2

  • Mate you just answered your own questions. With your outlook on life no there isn't any point being in a relationship. For a girl it'd be like dating a priest or the biggest tight arse in town. Why do so many people fail to see the point of life when it's staring them right in the face

    • If you base your points on illogical and subjective means, then there is a lofty point that has no actual nor tangible merit.

      But if you base it on objective rationality, there really is no point. Or at least nothing objectively logical.

      Basically, when you base your existence upon an irrational, or subjectively rational points, the point is subject to the situational changes and the whim of chance. However, being objective, often has very little wiggle room, and is a concrete stance, where a point is nearly immutable.

      I'm just looking to see if there is any objectivity in the situation, I may have missed.

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    • You inscribe words on your screen? Must cost you a fortune

    • I had enough of your idiocy. Blocked.

  • i like to feel that way at times, it seems to me dating and relationships, sex, is best for young people

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