My friends with benefits has been ignoring me?

I've been talking to this guy for 6 months, but friends with benefits for about 2 months. I sent the dreaded triple text and still no response (one text per day "thats fine, is eveything alright?" "Sorry about last night, I was so tired. How is your day?" "We're still meeting up Saturday, right?"). I've been thinking of giving it a few days and finally asking him "Do you feel comfortable with this friends with benefits thing? It doesn't seem like you do as much anymore. Its fine if you don't, I just don't want to purse something (or someone) that isn't working"

I don't like to be ghosted on, and he did this in the past many times. He always goes in cycles of hot and cold with me and I don't know if this is the actual end or another cycle.

  • text him that now
    Vote A
  • wait and text him
    Vote B
  • show results
    Vote C
  • (i'll probably not do this but i have to add) dont text him
    Vote D
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Most Helpful Guy

  • The old friends with benefits is fraught with problems with maybe two different levels of commitment but I would agree with the others that you need an explanation of his current behaviour and his further intentions because you have got to the stage where you want to make a decision about it and you need to know where he stands. I would be the same.


Most Helpful Girl

  • As someone who has recently delt with someone who is hot and cold, and also a friends with benefits (tho like... long distance. And I should probably say was*)

    I know how hard it is to just leave things be without closure. Especially if you're like me and basically crave closure on any situation.

    But honestly... I would leave him alone and just focus on you and finding a different friends with benefits. It's his loss. He's not worth the frustration.

    • but :( its so hard, I want to text him now but I don't wanna seem clingy. I need an answer to move on because it seems pathetic but I'll be thinking in the back of my head "he'll come back". I don't view closure as a "peace out" text, I think closure is explaining why you're peace'ing out. EVERY ONE deserves to be told when you're ending things, ghosting isn't an acceptable breakup form.

    • Show All
    • I will message him, fuck it. I'm the middle of "why should I care?" and "holy fuck do I care". If he wants to end things I deserve a "peace out" text

    • I'll keep you updated

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • don't text it friends with benefits not realtionship!

    • We used to text daily, for the whole 6 months we've been talking, and we had an agreement to talk if we wanted to end things. I can understand if we didn't start with such text communication, but we did and if he wants to end things he should send me a text or something.

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    • I know, still hard to move on though.

    • yup! )": sorry!