What should I do, as a romantic guy who seems to be out of place?

Well, I really need to let this out somewhere in order to come to peace with myself, and I thought that this would be the ideal place due to the userbase's impartial nature.

So, I should probably state that I am a freshman in the university; this means that the vast majority of people enjoy hard partying, hard drinking, and most of all casual, meaningless sex. Due to peer pressure, I've forced myself myself to try to get into this mindset, yet I was unsuccessful. Don't get me wrong, I like drinking and partying, but I just don't feel like it's the right place to meet a girl.

The way I see it, the only real way for me to find a girlfriend would be to first make friends with someone, and then ask them out on a date. I don't lack confidence or social skills, nor do I consider myself bad looking (different opinions welcome aswell :D), so that's a bonus. I just want to meet someone smart, with whom I can have interesting conversations; someone to sit in the car with, in a romantic spot, and listen to dire straits, and romantic music in general. Someone that inspires me to write a musical piece for them (i play the piano-synth). Someone to sit on the beach with, and watch the sun set and rise... You get the stupid romantic idea.

That's not to say that I am oversensitive, or lack masculinity, or anything like that. I just honestly feel good being a gentleman, and can only see myself only commiting to a relationship, despite being "only" 18 years old. That might be because I previously had a relationship that lasted about 2 years, which I really cherish.

So, ladies and gentlemen, what should I do? Should I just wait for the right girl to come? How will I know it's her? Should I just cut the romantic crap and follow what seems to be the trend for people my age? For the time being, I have (probably) accepted my single status, and honestly feel better by myself than with someone that isn't really my match.

Thanks in advance,


Most Helpful Girl

  • I think you should keep doing what you're doing! I have the exact same mindset as you pretty much and finally found a really great guy for me. I don't think there's really a way to tell if someone is "the one" you'll be will for the rest of your life, but if you find someone you really hit it off well for and start til develop feelings for, it is worth a shot. I don't think you should try to force yourself into the partying and sex college mindset though, as most of that is just one night stands and the relationships aren't very meaningful.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Please don't "wait" for the right girl - try new things, meeting new girls, seeing what works and what doesn't, it doesn't have to be "meaningless sex".

    The only way to know you've found the right woman is if you have something to compare it to - and it's never enough experience, especially when you're 18!!


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What Girls Said 0

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What Guys Said 3

  • Watch everyone else bang all the women in their prime until you are 35 and either women around your age start to want to date you for a Long term, or the younger ones in their mid twenties do. I don't know
    Just dont jump into a realtionship just to be in one to feel validated, or for sex, ir what you think is love... if your too quick you could end up with kids you can't raise and a heart that can't be fixed and have wasted your twenties and found the pond is dry the fame is rigged that you have none of this "game" and your completely out of place with women...

    • Thanks a lot for replying to my question; I'm really having a hard time understanding your point of view though, and the way you have worded it... Could you please explain? :D

    • Life sucks women are complicated. Always Wear a rubber bever get emotionslly attached or just hold out for a good woman

  • Just roll with it, but you're a "list guy". New term. I mean, I love Dire Straits, but that is a VERY specific requirement, or expectation in the least. Try this, "I enjoy meeting people, who come from a different point of view and mine. It's nice." After a few hundred iterations of that you might find the girl that can appreciate you and Mark, the straits and their version of "Romeo and Juliet".

    • Thanks for the reply; I just happened to be listening to that song on vinyl (alchemy live) at the time I was writing the question. :)

  • "What should I do, as a romantic guy who seems to be out of place?"