Sad and confused.. Did I either scare him away or shut him out too much?

a guy at work had a crush on me for weeks then finally got the courage to get my #.. we started texting everyday throughout the day and night and we shared great conversation and showed affection for about a week.. we hung out once and then that was great too everything still went well after... still texted constantly.. then i brought up how cute and funny my roomies baby was and he said "ohh you have baby fever =0 " ... i said "idk about baby fever but she loves me and adores me she always comes up to want to play w me".. then one day while we were at work while we were txting i said "hmm i dont know if i should say anything sweet like that cause I don't know if it will be too much/mushy" and he said "no i like it actually" and so i said.." ok ill say it... i kinda miss you = and feel like i have a good time when im with you... when any guy is coming up to talk to me today id rather be talking to you haha"... then he took his break at work and said hi to me cause he passed by then texted after "sorry i can't help but to smile when i look at you michelle" (because we had talked about not making things obvious at work in front of coworkers)... but since he didn't mention anything about what i had said, i instantly shut down and msged "please scratch what i just said haha i feel like it was a little too much"... he said "it doesn't bother me none nor do i judge but if it makes u uncomfortable ill pretend you didn't say anything :) " ... i said "yes please haha" and he said "got u ;) " then after i put two thumbs up and that was the end... we didn't text all night after then the next day i send him "Happy Valentines Day" and he completely ignored me and never talked to me since then.. i haven't even seen him at work which makes me feel like he is avoiding me. Do you think I killed it by saying all that affectionate stuff? or do you think i killed it by shutting down on him like that when i talked to him a lot before that? i kind of cried today at work because of it =(


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What Guys Said 1

  • Well Michelle, I think its possible you killed it when you said "Please scratch what i said". I think he saw from that message alone that you were not comfortable with having those feelings of him, and as a result possibly wants to distance himself from you to make it easier for you (considering that he has the notion that you don't want to have those feelings towards him)

    Or, maybe he is just busy, or something happened to him where he could not reply or come to work. That is also a possibility.

    As a starting point, DON'T OVERTHINK! You can end up creating scenarios in your head that don't even exist, and then you start acting based on assumptions that aren't even true.

    What you can do is just have a one on one with him when you see him again. Assess how he acts around you. If you can see that he is acting awkward, or "not himself"around you, break the ice and just lay it all on the table. Whatever is on your mind just lay it all down. Be open and honest. Let him know how you are feeling. But also, don't overdo/overthink it. Just lay down the basic points.

    Take it from there. If he has feelings for you he will say it, or maybe he will take time to think about it. It is never good to keep emotions bottled up.

    I hope it all works out in your favour :)


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